Okay, 5 Thing Survey Here I Go

Yanked from the diary of Fix_Me

Five details about me: 

 

1. I am intensely afraid that I am doing the "wrong thing" right now and that I have fucked up royally.  I’m scared, and it’s not pleasant.  I doubt myself a lot, though I usually live in a state of perpetual confidence and general happiness.
2. I quit my day job today.  I’ve been working in a data entry job at an insurance company for the last year and three months and today I gave my two weeks notice.  As of October 1st I will no longer have legal employment.  I’m looking for new jobs, but this is where the fear enters that I may not find one.  I’m glad I’ll be able to support myself from the job I’m quitting all the way through until November if need be though.  I could just strip more, but I’d rather find a new real job in promotions or PR, which is what I do best.  Somehow I doubt that’s gonna happen though.
3. I don’t get enough sleep because I stay up late doing things like filling out this survey instead of going to sleep.  It’s dumb how little sleep I get by on for no reason other than because I’m stubborn.
4. This past week I have been more horny than any other week over the last several months.  I don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve felt this horny for this extended a period of time.  Good god.
5. I’m usually a very calm, balanced, and well put-together person.  But when I snap I really snap, and it happens at some of the oddest of times.  I almost went totally mental on a guy outside of the club a couple weeks back because he was walking by and tried to get in on me and my friend looking at her thong.  I almost lost it on this guy, and for almost no reason.  I’m glad my friend told him to hurry along and his friends dragged him off.  It was kinda scary actually.

 

Five details about your appearance right now:  

 

1. The tattoo of a lion on my left lower back has finished scabbing and is just slightly raised.  It feels really good to touch.  I love it.  My mom still doesn’t know about it.
2. My pink streaks are fading and I’m bored with them – I’m getting my hair done this coming weekend.
3. My eyes are half closed because I’m tired and stoned.
4. My belly piercing is slightly infected and I need to take care of it better (it may be infected, but I still like it so take that Fix_Me)
5. I keep the fingernails on my left hand long for scratching, and those on my right short for fucking.

 

Five things you did yesterday:  

 

1. Went to my first class of Marketing of Services.  It’s going to be my dryest course of the semester, and I dont’ know how I feel about it.  It was my first day back in class and I was really out of it – my brain just felt like mush.  Considering the summer I had I’m not really surprised.
2. Yesterday was the day I decided to quit.  I’ve been mulling it over since then and gave my notice via email right before I left today.
3. Worked another soulless day at the insurance company.
4. Went to an organic coffee shop between work and and school and had a cup of tea.  Turns out a girl I went to high school with works there now, so I’ll be seeing her on a semi-regular basis.  I’m thinking this will turn into one of those enter-then-exit acquaintances.

5.  Had the best sunomono salad ever.  Very tasty, but it shouldn’t take 10 minutes to make the damn stuff.

 

Five memorable things you did in the last year:  

 

1. Took up stripping.
2. "Came out" about how kinky some of my desires, fetishes, and fantasies are, specifically humiliation play and rape fantasies.
3. Attended a workshop on Military and Interrogation scenes.
4. Joined the Vancouver Dyke March board.  That’s pretty freakin’ memorable.

5. Became a promoter.  I have met more people in the last 6 months than I have in the last 6 years.  It’s incredible. 

 

Five favorite musicians/bands:  

 

1. The Pixies
2. System of a Down
3. Depeche Mode
4. Rage Against the Machine

5. Marilyn Manson 

 

Five favorite movies:  

 

1. Fight Club
2. Scarface
3. Reservoir Dogs
4. Hedwig & the Angry Inch
5. Pulp Fiction

    

 

Five things that make you happy:  

 

1. When people come together united for a cause.
2. When I am educated, either academically or pratically.  I love learning new things, whether it be in class, on my own, or from others.  I know knowledge, particularly when it’s on subject matter that is very widely varied.
3. Sparkly things.
4. When I connect with people.  I doesn’t happen a lot, and I find it difficult to really find people I trust and want to get to know and feel like I connect with.  It’s the absolute best when you either know or find out that they feel the same way about you and that it’s something so incredibly surreal feeling that you wonder if this is really your life.

5. Being who I want to be and doing what I want to do. 

 

Five things that impress you:  

 

1. Intelligence, and the ability to use it in a positive way.  (amen)
2. Confidence – MAJOR turn-on.  (ditto amen)
3. Worldliness and wisdom gained from experience.  (thritto amen)
4. Optimism – Not the sugary "If life gives you lemons…" bullshit, but the ability to make the most of what you have, and find two open doors for every closed door.  (quadritto amen)
5. I’ll give you a hint. There’s two of them, and they rhyme with "Tubes." They’re usually found on women.  (quntto amen)

    

 

Five things that DON’T impress you:  

 

1. Bling.
2. Overzealous materialism and irresponsible consumption. Sounds like a perfect formula fo

r an SUV!  (damn you, are you reading my thoughts again y’fucker?)

Television. I didn’t have cable the whole time I was with my roomie and that was since early last November.  Here at my family’s place I have sat down to watch tv a total of about 4 times over the last 3 months.  Once to watch Clerks, once to watch The Simpsons, and twice to watch The Daily Show.  Seriously.

Men who sit in front of the stage and laugh.  I don’t care if it’s not about me, it doesn’t impress me.

 People who use big words to sound more intelligent.  Fuck off, yes, I do know what those words mean because I’m educated, but I’m not impressed just because you know them too.

 

Five things you can’t live without:  

 

1. Self-confidence.  If I lacked that I would probably fall into a gutter and die.  
2. Self-esteem.  If I lacked that I would probably slit my wrists.  
3. Self-worth.  Lacking that I would sell everything I currently call my own and would have no self-esteem.  
4. Self-respect.  I know where my boundaries are and I make them very clear to people, especially when people are trying to cross them.  
5. Self-reflection.  Lacking that I would most likely run head-on into big big trouble.  I’m glad I think things through these days.