If You Could Have Me

There’s a forum that I’m a member of where they have an anonymous section.  It’s a wiki, where any user can come along and edit the page and add links as determined – one of the links currently on this section is called "If You Could Have Me"  I couldn’t post something honest up there for fear of someone recognizing my "voice" and being called out on it in person.

I dedicate mine to someone I don’t think I’ve found yet, and to something that’s definitely not available to me right now:

If you could have me, you’d know what to do with me.  You’d understand what I need right now, how to touch, hold, and hurt me.

You’d know that I’m a bit of a princess, and a little girl – I need to be kept warm, comfortable, and safe.  Even in pain, knowing it’s safe pain.  Pain that will stop if I need it to, pain that’s there because it feels kinda nice, pain that’s not there out of a sadistic need to really hurt me, but out of a sadistic need to inflict my own brand of pain on me.

You’d twist and pinch my nipples, cut up my back, flog me, and then touch me softly and tell me I’m so good, so very very good.  You’d understand how delicate my pain is and how badly I need it.  You’d understand that right now I need to be hurt this way, my way, with your touch.  You’d cuddle and fuck me, but not in that order.

If you could have me, we’d talk and fuck and talk and fuck and talk and fuck.

If you could have me, I’d lay my head in your lap, shed tears occasionally, and tell you what’s wrong.  If you could have me, you’d have to be willing to listen and to take care of me – not in that "real life" taking care of way, just in that loving "it’ll be okay" kinda way.

If you could have me, maybe this itch would go away.