Coming Out About Work

I’ve made the decision to be more open about what I do in my own life – partially for my own sanity, partially out of respect for my friends, and partially as a way of feeling more empowered about my choice for income.

It’s really stressful to have to constantly keep straight which story you’ve told who, who knows the truth, how much you might have told so-and-so, and who should or shouldn’t know.  I’ve just decided to tell the friends who spend the most time with me and know me best – but not anyone from high school (some people I went to high school with are still connected to my younger brother as well).  It feels like a weight has been lifted off my chest.

I also respect my friends’ intelligence.  I mean, c’mon, I’ve got money from doing legit work?  Yeah right… I’m up till all hours of the night… or morning.  I always have money, but it’s clearly not a steady income.  I have strange hours for meeting people, and I’m clearly always busy.  And then when people ask me what I do for a living I say promotions, leech off the government, or just "I have my ways".  I like being mysterious, but for me to ask the folks who know me to accept that there’s nothing going on is a bit much.

It’s also empowering for me to talk about it.  Not only do I get to see who is supportive and who isn’t, it’s also an opportunity to discuss sex work with the people who matter most to me.  Regardless of what any person’s opinion is, it’s been giving me the opportunity to give them an idea of what it’s like to fuck people for money.  Some people are curious, some are excited, some are disappointed, and some get really worried about me – but no matter what they think, I get to talk about sex work, openly.

I’m not going to go nuts with this – I know which circle of friends can be told about this, and they’re generally really educated queer females living in a really progressive city.  We push boundaries together – these are the people who cheered me on as I stripped down to my cock and binding and flashed pussy on stage.  These are the folks who I flash on the patio at the bar and they just say "Show us something we haven’t seen."  These are the people who love me for who I really am.

I also need to tell people I plan to sleep with more than once – I feel that I owe them that level of respect.  It’s only honest for me to give the spiel I just gave a week or two ago, the one about my herpes status and choice to do sex work.  It’s not my choice to put someone in a position where they’re hooking up with someone who’s in a higher risk category – it’s their own choice to do that.

Making decisions to take certain steps with my life is what empowers me, as long as I can look at myself at the end of the day and look into my own eyes in the mirror.  Whatever it takes, that’s what I need to do.