Balance On That Tight Tightrope
Living my life without going to extremes is like walking a tightrope. It’s that balance of knowing that if you lean too far in either direction, you’ll have to fall, and you’ll be counting on that safety net to catch you when you do. Usually it’s there… but what about the one time it’s not?
Do I want a career that’s fully legit or something that’s buried in the underground? Am I actually extroverted or just an excellent introverted actor? Am I a man or a woman – and don’t look at my genitals when you answer that. Is my goal in life to lay back and live the best life I can or to drive forward with utmost determination and accomplish as much as I can?
I like to think it’s always a bit of column A and a bit of column B. It’s about finding the middle ground, learning to balance two different (but not necessarily opposing) extremes.
I’m getting better at balancing. I still teeter, I still fall, and I still lose that balance, but at least now I know that’s what I need to work on in order to get my life to function without falling. I’ve found a couple of forms of meditation that work for me, but even that is something I need to be careful not to do too much of – or at least to balance in their extremes, like I aim to do with my partying.
I’m not perfect. I’m not all-knowing. I’m not infalliable or invincible or even indestructible. Life is a learning process, and I’m still alive.
the metaphor I’ve been using for my life for the past few years, for many of the same reasons, has been crossing the bridge. maybe the trick in crossing your tightrope is making it wider, turning it in to a bridge, giving yourself more space to maneuver so it doesn’t feel like you’re always on the edge? problem is, as you’ve discovered, there’s not always motive to do that, because as long as the net is there, sometimes we actually get off on the falling part.
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Tightrope walking is tricky indeed, but it’s fun and exciting to be inside the center ring rather than sitting in the stands and watching the show, wondering what it must be like to be a part of it. I’m glad you’re still here.
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that is fascinating. if you think about it, tightrope walking is in and of itself pretty extreme.
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What happens when you do fall? the net just isn’t hooked upright?
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i like the picture you use to describe your feelings – nice entry 🙂
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Still alive on the razor’s edge is good thing.
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My garage is very much like my brain, so I’m glad you like it.
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