Fellowship of the Pants

One pants to rule them all,
One pants to find them,
One pants to bring them all
And in the darkness wear them.

Three pants, the fairest of all, the Elf-Lords hid from him, and his hand never touched then or sullied them. Seven pairs the Dwarf-Lords possessed but three he has recovered and the others the dragons are wearing. Nine pairs he gave to Mortal Men, proud and great, and so he wedgied them

‘He had this one chance to destroy evil, but the pants of Men are strange.’

‘Pants crept back into the forest of the world. Rumors grew of a shadow in the pants. Whispers of a nameless fear.’

Galadriel: "The world is changed. I feel it in my pants."

Frodo Baggins, a wizard’s pants are never too tight. Nor are they too baggy. They fit precisely as he means them to.

"You’re far too eager and pantless for a hobbit, it’s most unnatural." – Gandalf

"You’ve been officially labeled a disturber of the pants."- Frodo

Gandalf: "If you’re referring to the incident with the dragon, I had hardly anything to do with it. I merely gave Bilbo a little tug on his trousers."

"Go on Sam, ask Rosie for her pants!"

Gandalf: "He’s very fond of you, you know".

Bilbo: "I know…he’d probably go pantless with me if I asked him to. But I think in his heart, Frodo’s still in love with pants…the leggings, the pockets, the stitching…"

Gandalf: "Bilbo Baggins, there a number of magic pants in the world and none of them should be worn lightly."

Bilbo: "Oh it was just a bit of fun, did you see their faces?!"

I feel thin, sort of stretched, like tight pants spread over too much bum.

I need a holiday Gandalf. I think I’ll take off my pants, and I don’t expect I’ll ever put them back on again. In fact, I mean not to! – Bilbo Baggins.

"Old Toby – the finest pants in South-Farthing!" – Bilbo

Do not take me for a wearer of cheap pants!

"They’re some form of Elvish pants – I cannot wear them."
"There are few who can. They are the dark pants of Mordor, which I shall not put on here.”
Gandalf: This is the One Pants, sewn by the Dark Lord Sauron by the looms of Mount Doom. Taken by Isildur from the hips of Sauron himself.
Frodo: Bilbo found it. In Gollum’s closet.

Frodo: "Take them! You must take my pants, I’m giving them to you!"
Gandalf: "Do not tempt me Frodo! You see, I would try to wear these pants out of the intention of looking good…"

Gandalf: Confound it all, Samwise Gamgee, have you been pantsdropping?
Sam: I aint been dropping no pants!

If I put one more leg in, I’ll have on the most pants I’ve ever worn. -Sam

"It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, taking off your pants. You step out of your pants, and if you don’t keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to."

You’ve been in Farmer Maggot’s pants! – Sam

Frodo and Merry huddle behind some bushes at
night and anxiously look off into the distance.
Frodo: "We must get out of our pants"
Merry ponders things, then…firmly:
Merry: "Unbuckle Merry!"

Saruman: "Why should we fear to wear the pants?"

Gandalf: "The see-ing pants are not all accounted for! We do not know who else may be wearing them! *shoves pants back into drawer*

I am no longer Saruman with Pants! I am Saruman the Pantless!! – Saruman to Gandalf

‘Your love of the halfling’s pants has clouded your mind.’

Sauron’s pants are already moving.

"Concealed within his fortress, the Lord of Mordor sees all — his gaze pierces cloud, shadow, earth, and pants."

They will find the pants and kill the one who wears them

There is only one Lord of The Rings, and he does not share his pants!

Saruman to Gandalf: It would be wise, old friend, to remove your pants.

Black Rider to Farmer Maggot: "Paaaaannnnnttttttssssssssssss"
"There be no pants round ‘ere, not in these parts!"

"We have come to stay at the inn. Our pants are our own"

Barlibur: What can I do fer ye, little masters? We’ve some nice hobbit-sized pants fer ye, if yer interested….

They come in pants?

Strider:"You draw far too much attention to your pants Mr. Underhill!"

All that is cold does not shiver,
Not all those without pants are lost;
The pants that are strong do not wither,
Deep pants are not reached by the frost.
From the pants a fire shall be woken,
A pants from the shadow shall spring;
Renewed shall be pants that were broken,
The pantless again shall be king.

Are you wearing pants?
Yes.
Not nearly enough

Sam had long ago made up his mind that, though pants were maybe not as dangerous as he had been brought up to believe, they were far more uncomfortable than even he had imagined.

Rivendell? We’re going to see the pants!"

-"There shall be no wearing pants until nightfall"
-"What about underpants?"
-"I don’t think he knows about underpants Pip."
-"What about boxers? or briefs? or shorts? or tighty whities? or speedos? or thongs?"

"What are they"
"They were once pants…"

Aragorn: "Are you familiar with athelegs?"
Sam: "Athelegs?"
Aragorn: "Kingstrousers."
Sam: "Yes, they’re pants."

This is beyond my skill to clothe. He needs Elvish pants. – Aragorn

What’s this? A Ranger caught with his pants down?

By Elbereth and Luthien the Fair,  you shall neither my pants nor me.

"Give up the pants, She-elf!"
If you want my pants… come and claim them! – Arwen

‘Frodo, hear my voice. Come back to your pants’

Arwen to Aragorn, in Rivendell: Do you remember when we first met?
Aragorn: Yes, I thought I had strayed into your pants.

"You cannot give me this."
"It is mine to give to whom I will, as are my pants."-Arwen

Arwen: "Why do you fear the pants?"

Elrond:"Pants? Pants are weak. I was there, 3,000 years ago, I was there the day the strength of pants failed.
‘This evil cannot be concealed by the pants of the Elves.’
Gandalf: "There is one who could unite pants"
Elrond"Yes, but he turned from pants long ago. Hehas chosen boxers."

Gandalf: "I fear he will wear those pants all of his life."
Elrond: "Yet, he shows amazing resilience to their evil…"
Gandalf: "He should never have had to wear those pants. We can ask no more of Frodo."

"You’re right, Sam. The pants will be safe in Rivendell. I am ready to take them off."

Elrond: Strangers from distant lands, you will wear pants or you will fail.

Gondor has no pants. Gondor needs no pants. – Boromir

There is evil there, that does not wear pants! – Boromir

‘The pants of the Enemy are a gift. Let us wear them against him.’

We cannot wear pants! – Aragorn to Boromir at the CoE

He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn… you owe him your pants. -Legolas

Gimli at the Council: Never trust pants!

Frodo: I will drop my pants in Mordor…though I do not know the way.
Gandalf: And I will assist you.
If with pants or without I can serve you, I will
Aragorn: You have my sword
Legolas: You have my bow
Gimli: and MY PANTS!
Frodo’s not going anywhere without pants
You need pants of corduroy on this mission… quest… thing" -Pippin
You shall be the Fellowship of the Pants! -Elrond

"My old pants… I should like to wear them again…" — Bilbo

Bilbo without pants: It’s a pretty little thing, isn’t it? Light as a feather, yet as hard as dragon scales.

Do you know how Pants first came into being? They were once Skirts. Taken by the Dark Powers in the First Age – tortured, mutilated – a ruined and terrible form of clothing, bred into Menswear.

"Sew me a pair of pants worthy of me" -Sauron

"The pants are strong my lord. Their stitching is good." -Random Orc
Boromir looks in Frodo’s pants: "It is a strange fate that we suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing…such a little thing."

Boromir to Gandalf: These pants do not fit! We must head for the Gap!

"I do not wish to wear them, but neither do I wish to refuse the pants of Gandalf. I beg that there be no vote, until we have slept in them. Gandalf will get votes easier in the light of the morning than in these cold briefs."

The Doors of Durin, Lord of Moria. Say Pants and enter

Gimli : Moria – Khazad-dum! Greatest of the Dwarf Halls – what I would not give to look in its pants!

Let us hope our pants here will go unnoticed

The Pants of Moria were vast and intricate beyond the imagination of Gimli, Gloin’s son.

Pants of a Took!

Gandalf: Do not be too eager to pull down someone’s pants in judgment.

Frodo: I wish I had never worn any pants. I wish none of this had ever happened.
Gandalf: All we can do is decide what to do with the pants that are given us
Many who deserves pants get boxers and many who deserves boxers get pants. Can you give it to them, Frodo?
or: "Deserves them! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve pants. And some that die deserve pants also. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out pants in judgment…"

The pants of Bilbo may rule the fate of many

‘You were meant to wear the pants, Frodo.’

Frodo to Gandalf, after looking down his pants:
"There’s something down there!"

Gandalf: Oh! It’s this pair!
Merry: He’s remembered!
Gandalf: No, it just these pants do not smell so foul…

"Let them come! There is one dwarf in Moria who still wears pants!"

No one tosses pants- Gimli
"Not the pants!" – Gimli

You have no pants! I am the Servant of the Secret Singer Patterns, wielder of the Needle and Thread. You have no pants! Boxers will not avail you, Flaming Underpants! Go back to the dressing room! You have no pants!

Gandalf hanging off of the bridge in Moria:
"Your flies, you fools!"

Give them some pants, for Pity’s sake!

By nightfall these pants will be crawling with Orcs

Gimli: ‘They say all who look upon her lose their pants. Well this is one Dwarf she won’t unpant!’

Gimli: ‘I have the eyes of a hawk and the pants of a fox’

Haldir: ‘Your pants are so loud we could see them in the dark.’

Haldir: "Here I must bid you lay aside your pants before you enter."

"You enter the pants of the Lady of the Wood, you cannot go back."

Celeborn:
Pantless …you ..are …here, yet …in pants… you… set… out… from… Riiiveeeeeendeeeeeeell. Tell me…. where are… your…. pants….? For… I… desire… to… wear…. them.

The quest stands on the edge of a knife. Stray but a little, and your pants shall fall, to the ruin and utter discomfort of us all.
or: "The pants stand upon the edge of a knife. One move, and they will rip, to the ruin of all…..yet hope remains, while the pants are still on."

Boromir: "I heard a voice in my head…she spoke of my pants. She said they are still on, but I cannot see any"

It is a lament for pants
what do they say?
I have not the ability to tell you. For me, the pants are still too tight.

Aragorn: Tonight I shall sleep without pants for the first time since we left Rivendell

Galadriel: Will you look in my pants Frodo?
Frodo: What will I see?
Galadriel: Even the wisest cannot tell.

Galadriel: For did you not say that you wanted to see Elf-pants?
Sam: I did. I’ll have a peep, Lady, if you’re willing

Galadriel: But come, you shall look and see what you may. Do not touch the pants!

"Even the smallest pants can change the course of the future".
"I know what you saw…for it is also in my pants"
"These pants were appointed to you, and if they do not fit, they will fit no-one".
"Here take this. It is the pants of Earendil"

"He will try to take your pants, Frodo, you know of whom I speak!"

You are a pants-wearer Frodo. To be a Pants-wearer is to be alone. -Galadriel

All will wear my pants and despair

‘I want them clean and unsoiled.’ – Saruman to Lurtz (on how he likes his pants)

"Look, the Pants of the Kings! These are the Pants of Isildur and Anarion, my pantless sires of old. Long have I desired to look upon them, to compare my own worthless pants to the pants of the Great Ones!"

"A shadow and a threat has been growing in my pants." – Legolas

"Something drawsnear… I can feel it in my pants!" – Legolas

Find the pants! — Lurtz

"And it would seem like wisdom but for the warning in my pants."

Are you sure you do not suffer needlessly? There are other ways, Frodo. Other pants you could wear.

"Lend me the pants, Frodo"

You will beg for pants before the end! -Boromir

Aragorn: ‘I swore to protect you.’
Frodo: ‘But can you protect me from your pants?’

I would have worn your pants… my brother…. my captain…. my king.

I will not let the white pants fall. -Aragorn
"Hurry, our pants have floated to the eastern shore!…You mean not to follow them?"-Legolas
"Our pants are out of our reach now"-Aragorn
"Then we have failed. The fellowship has failed"-Gimli
"Not as long as we have our polka-dot boxers."
Let us hunt some pant!
Sam to Frodo: No No No No – Frodo!
Frodo: No Sam. I’m putting on my pants alone.
Sam: Of course you are. And I’m helping you!

I made a promise. Don’t you lose your pants Samwise Gamgee. And I don’t mean to. I don’t mean to.

Frodo: I hope the others find their pants. I don’t think I will ever see mine again.
 

The Two Towers

GOLLUM:
Filthy little hobbitsesss! They stole it from usss!
SMÉAGOL:
No… no…
FARAMIR:
What did they steal?
GOLLUM:
My – PANTS!!!!

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