Pointless

I don’t feel like writing much on here again. Not a lot to say. Or too much I don’t want to get into. Max is gone. Totally pushy and desperate for physical affection I’m not comfortable with. My hair is getting super long. And I keep Keith and my ex Chris around to keep me feeling safe and wanted. Five days. Five days til it’s been 365 days without her. I remember everything of Kristin waking me up that night to tell me she was gone. I remember the look of her corpse on the bed, the lighting in the room. The…relief. I remember hiding with the hiccups when the coroner showed up. I didn’t look when they took her away. Who wants to see their mother for the last time being put in a bag and awkwardly carried down the stairs? Wish I hadn’t just imagined it.

My sister is having a little girl. Avery Leigh. She is not growing enough, and having some heart problems. Kristin’s going to a specialist next month. Pray for Avery. I feel like the world will fall apart if she is too sick or worse. I love her already.