the carnival never ends

Which is why I’ve been such a slackard and haven’t written, have barely noted, and never scanned/posted any more Helen pictures. Cue the circus music! Speaking of carnivals, though, on a TOTALLY unrelated note, we got the first season of Carnivale from Netflix recently. It’s… interesting. Okay, by the end I really liked it (only the first season is out so far on DVD), but I was kind of ambivalent for most of it. It had such potential – very surreal and scary, about a guy with bizarre healing powers and a very mysterious past who is taken in by a Depression-era carnival. I think they were trying SO hard to be David Lynch (Michael Anderson, who plays the dwarf in Twin Peaks, is a main character) but it just isn’t Twin Peaks. It wanted to be, but didn’t quite make it. A lot of it didn’t make much sense, and our running joke became that the writers had NO idea of what was going on, or what was going to happen at any given moment. BUT I really liked the last episode. Naturally. So I’m eager for the next season.

That has nothing to do with anything at all. And it’s been weeks since we saw it. I really think I want to just start doing movie reviews. Or series, or whatever, as entries. Since I can’t even manage to make regular normal entries, I don’t think there’s much danger of that ever happening, but it’s a fun thought.

So. I’m at work, and despite it being technically the break, post-exams and pre-summer classes, the phone has Not.Stopped.Ringing. I’ve been interrupted at least five times since I started this to answer the phone (yes, it IS very inconsiderate). Nine tenths of the calls are from people who got our memo saying that we don’t have their Praxis II scores. The memo that always generates massive confusion from people who have no reading comprehension skills and don’t understand 1) make a copy 2) put them in the mail 3) don’t fax them and 4) don’t whine to me about how you told Praxis to report your scores and you don’t understand why we don’t have them and does make a copy of the scores mean take them to a copy machine and make a copy on the copier and by mail the scores do we mean mail them in the mail or can you bring them by our office and by not faxing them do we really mean you can fax them and AAAAAGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I really don’t want to talk about it. Okay, I just did talk about it, but I don’t want to talk about it any more. And I have to be here at a quarter of 8 tomorrow to work graduation, i.e. herd the graduates around and make sure their caps are on straight and try to get them in alphabetical order which is harder than you’d think. Well, maybe not, given how I complain about their average intelligence. So, I’m doing this instead of all my work. And furthermore, to cut off my whining, I’m doing a completely random survey that I’ve had on my hard drive for a year and a half and I have NO idea where it came from or even if I’ve already done it.

Donated blood? I’m assuming this is asking if I’ve ever donated blood. Twice. In high school and a couple of years ago. Both times I keeled over and ended up in the Special Chair with my feet above my head. I’m a very poor blood-giver. I can’t watch, I have to look totally and completely the other way, and unfortunately as I found last time I gave blood, no matter where I looked there were other people with big tubes of blood coming out of their arms as well as stacks of plastic bags full of red liquid with the word BLOOD!!! in great big letters across them. Next question, quick.

Talked your way out of a speeding ticket? I’ve only gotten one, amazingly enough, and I didn’t even try to talk my way out of it. But since I didn’t argue or cry or whine that it wasn’t MY fault or try to deny that I was in fact going 65 in a 45 zone, he fixed it so I could go to court and plead my case, and they dropped it there. I thought that was admirable of both of us.

Eaten fried pickles? No, and I can’t imagine what would ever possess me to eat something like that. What is it, a State Fair delicacy?

Failed a class? I sure have. My college grades were not exactly stellar for the first couple of years. I failed two art classes, geography, and organic gardening, all in one year. And still ended up with a respectable GPA by the time I graduated.

Danced in a recital? No. I did dance in a program we did in fourth grade that was such a hit we got to do it twice. It was a Hawaiian theme and involved wearing grass skirts and purple plastic leis and singing something about going to a hooky-laow. Whatever the hell that is. This is giving me flashbacks – maybe I DID do this already. Yikes.

Eaten a whole pizza? Well, that depends on what size pizza we’re talking about. I’ve eaten a whole small one. Not a big one.

Played hooky? Are you kidding? See the question about failing classes. All I DID was play hooky. I would have done it in high school too, but our school was very strict about that and called your parents if you were absent. Baker B, however, spent his entire senior year playing hooky, and never got caught.

Gotten straight A’s? I’ve gotten lots of A’s, but since they were also mingled with those F’s and then the less impressive grades I got in classes that bored me (or that I just am really really bad at, like anything involving numbers), I’m not sure if they would qualify as straight A’s.

Marched in a parade? No, I haven’t. It’s just never come up.

Been stuck in an elevator? No, and I have a serious elevator phobia so I hope that never happens to me. I really don’t like elevators. In fact, just today I rode in the elevator in this building for the very first time in all the five years I’ve been here. And that was just because K and I had gone to the Convocation Center with the Ass’t Dean and when we came back she took the elevator and we took it too. We’re just on the second floor. Jeeze.

Broken a bone? I’ve torn the ligaments in my right middle finger but never broken a bone.

Been to a circus? No. I don’t have much attraction to the circus. I think I’m a little scared of them. I’m especially afraid of clowns. I sure hope I never get stuck in an elevator with a clown.

Gone white-water rafting? I never have, but I think I’d like to.

Fainted? I’ve never completely fainted, but I’ve come close. See the first question. Also a few other times during medical-blood-icky things.

Wished you had chosen a different career? I don’t have a career to wish I’d not chosen. I’ve just had a series of weird unrelated jobs.

Demanded a raise? I’ve asked nicely more than once with this job. To no avail.

Run out of gas while driving? More than once. WAY more than once. Although to my credit it’s been quite some time. I used to run out of gas in my VW Bug once in awhile. No idea WHY, I just did. I also ran out of gas in the other Bug we had a few years ago because there was something wrong with the gas gage, and once it was below half a tank full, it never moved again. Right after we bought it, I was shocked at how little gas it was using – I was like, “Wow! I’ve driven this car TWO WEEKS and it’s still half full of gas! This is fantastic!” Then I ran out of gas.

You actually had to open the trunk- which is in the front in a VW, of course, and in the really old VWs the gas thing is inside there instead of on the outside of the car – and then peer into the the gas tank with a flashlight to see how much gas you really had.

Taken piano lessons? No, but I always wanted to. My cousin and best friend both did, and I was so jealous. They were jealous of me for not having to take them. We didn’t have a piano, though.

Oh, that’s it. I cut some boring ones out. Okay, maybe I’ll lock up a bit early- what a concept!