sniff….sniff…..WAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow, this day has kind of sucked. I’ve got way too much to do, I can’t get caught up, and I really really really need a nap. And my feet are cold. And I keep having to talk to people who are angry. Like the guy who wants us to fill out a form verifying that he has completed a teacher education program in Biology, when in fact he has not. He’s completed a Masters in General Biology, but it’s not a teaching program. He’s also licensed to teach Middle Grades and in fact is only missing one class according to the Biology person to get a Biology license, but until he has that class I can’t say he’s completed the program. Because he hasn’t!!!! So he’s all pissed off.

I’ve also had someone mad at me because he’s not licensed to teach history since he graduated with a social sciences/political science degree – I’m not sure why, if he wanted to teach history that he didn’t get a degree in, say, HISTORY, but whatever – and to make it worse he actually did his student teaching in history. Why? Who knows!! Apparently nobody ever told him they are two different programs. The political science department IS a little flaky and gives every indication that they don’t have a clue, so it isn’t surprising, but still. I don’t really understand it either, but hey, I’m not supposed to!! I’m not the one majoring in it, pal.

Waaahhhhh. And worst of all, I discovered today that I missed the October payment on our home equity loan. And they immediately raised the interest on it. I missed it because Baker B and I get paid once a month, on the first, and it’s due on the 20th, and when I paid all the other bills on the first I didn’t even have that one yet, and I didn’t do what I do for our car payment and put a note in my daytimer to pay it later. So I completely missed it. Which, yes, is totally my fault and totally because I’m disorganized and as flaky as the Political Science department, but STILL. I’ve been upset to the point of tears all day – I haven’t even told Baker B for fear I’d burst into tears on the phone. I am going to call or go by the bank tomorrow and see if there’s ANYTHING I can do about it. They may take pity and waive it once, since my credit is so outstanding and I NEVER pay things late. I’d have gone today but figured I’d weep all over the bank officer.

And this really is NOT the end of the world. Even if they won’t reinstate the original rate, it’s still just 6.75%. Not like 21%. And we really need to look into refinancing and get the mortgage insurance off our home loan anyhow, and we could probably just wrap them together. So it’s not something that warrants the reaction I’m having. I think I’m just overworked, overtired, and …WWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

I’m also going for my Yearly Mammogram tomorrow. I think that’s making me even more unhinged. I’ve been to one doctor or another every three months for the past year, I’m SURE I’m perfectly fine – but still, of course I’m thinking, what if they find something else???? I’ve really tried not to worry about it, but worry is what I do best. I want that blip to remain a blip.

So when I went to lunch today, I found myself having a full-blown crying jag. On the way to Mast General Store to return a shoulder bag I bought yesterday that was supposed to be ergonomically correct and sit on my back but in reality kept falling around under my arm no matter how I adjusted the strap, so was really really annoying. Since I didn’t want to go into the Mast Store while having a crying jag, I turned off on this road that goes up a mountain where I knew of a little old cool family cemetery that’s right on a ridge and has an amazing view. I figured if I was going to have a crying jag, I might as well go all out and do it right. Go somewhere with a little privacy and a fantastic view, and just weep for all I’m worth! Naturally, when I got there I found myself much more interested in taking pictures with the New Camera than continuing my crying jag, so that actually worked out very well.

And I also discovered that I can load them up on my work computer without installing the program I got with the camera, so here’s the result of my little breakdown. Now it’s starting to seem a little odd even to me that this cemetery visit cheered me up – especially since there were several instances of families who had lost four or five small children – one couple had children’s gravestones spanning maybe twenty years – all apparently the same couple’s children, and most just a few years old when they died. I think there were six. Maybe it just made me realize that there are a LOT of worse things than missing a payment and having your interest rate raised, or having too much to do at work, or having people snap at me.

Zoomed in on a field across the valley here. There WAS a horse in it – I’m not sure where he went.

These little diamond-shaped headstones were for children, all from the same family.