Short Attention Span Theatre!

I’ve always had the attention span of a butterfly with ADD, and I can focus on one thing for about five seconds tops, but it’s really getting out of hand lately. It’s taken me about ten minutes to write this sentence because I keep getting distracted. The phone is ringing in the next office – are they going to answer the damn thing or will it just ring on over to me?? My email alert just popped up – maybe I better see if it’s something important! Okay, it’s not important at all but maybe while I’m in my email I better check out all these other emails I’ve been ignoring in an effort to get some work done. What happened to the stationary I ordered two weeks ago, anyhow? Maybe I better email the printer. The printing office, not MY printer. Can I email my printer and tell it to hold all my calls??? Is the battery on my cellphone dead yet? Maybe I better check. Wow, I hate the song that’s playing – why is that on my computer? Where is something I want to listen to?? Where’s my favorite pen – did someone steal my favorite pen?????

I am driving myself insane.

Last night was our placement meeting for the student teachers who will go out in the spring. I had 320 or so applications, which is an insane number – every semester we have more and more and more – so I took 350 packets to the meeting. There were 25 packets left, so 325 came to the meeting. Generally a lot of students don’t make it to the meeting and have to come by later. So considering a lot of them have also probably not filled out an application, and a lot probably were not at the meeting, I predict that we are screwed.

Now they’re signing up for their placement interviews. All the supervisors who are doing interviews have a packed schedule. One of the women who places the elementary student teachers in this county has FIFTY STUDENTS SIGNED UP. Fifty. She’s got them from 9 in the morning till 5 in the afternoon with no break, and a bunch of them have doubled up for lack of space. She is, seriously, going to have a stroke. They are ALL going to bitch and whine because they have so many.

Oh, the phone is ringing! Oh, I just got more email! Oh, there’s that form I need to get signed right this minute!! Oooops, I was supposed to fax this other form yesterday and I forgot!!! I need a Ritalin smoothie. NOW.

I’ve been toying with the idea of just doing certain things on certain days. Like especially the licensure stuff – I think I could designate a day or two a week to work on that, and ignore it the rest of the time. That might help with this feeling of being on massive overload by reducing the piles of stuff that need to be dealt with right this minute. I can say, “Oh, that’s licensure – I’ll deal with that Wednesday! You need it right now? Well, sorry, today is not Licensure Day, pal!” I can’t do that with everything, but I think it would work with stuff like that.

I’m trying to think of ways like that to keep from losing my mind, since not only is the Associate Dean’s assistant quitting – so is her room scheduler! The Associate Dean has two people working directly for her, and they are BOTH QUITTING!!! The Room Scheduler was offered a job the day after the assistant put in her notice, so they are both leaving in a little over a week. Again, we are SO SCREWED. We are so screwed that I am trying not to think about it.

Hey, good thing I’m going to a Stress Management Seminar in Las Vegas! Which will of course result in WAY more stress since I’m weird and neurotic and unfriendly and sharing a room. Oh, well, I guess I’ll just cement my reputation as a complete and total antisocial loon. I need to talk to the computer guy to see what he’s planning on doing while there – I can’t imagine he’s going to be hanging out with the girls. I want to see if he’s got polite excuses or is just going to say “See ya!!” and vanish. Of course it’ll be easier for him since he’s got the private room and isn’t paired with Clingy Woman. Like I am. There are two going who are inseparable, then there’s the computer guy, Clingy Woman and me.

Oddly, I’m still looking forward to it. I love to fly and haven’t been on a plane in years. And I love seeing places I’ve never been. I guess traveling to trade shows at my last job got me accustomed to the coworker-travel thing. Except we had our own rooms at trade shows.

Oh, well. It will be something different, at least.

Okay, just got a call from a student’s daddy. He tells me in great detail all about how his son is a senior and his son is a PE major and his son is student teaching next semester and his son has been placed at an elementary school and he doesn’t want to be at an elementary school, he wants to be at a high school and what can they do about it.

Me: Ummmmmm…. your son isn’t placed at an elementary school, sir. Nobody is placed anywhere yet. They won’t even have their placement interviews until next week.

Him: But he’s been placed at an elementary school. He needs to be at a high school.

Me: No. NO, he’s NOT placed at an elementary school. NOBODY is placed ANYWHERE yet. There was a placement meeting last night. If he was at that meeting, he got information on signing up for an interview, and THEN he’ll be placed. After the interview.

Him: He needs to be placed in Charlotte so he can live at home.

Me: {* thinking okay – how have we gone from “he’s placed somewhere he shouldn’t be” to “he wants to go to Charlotte” in the blink of an eye??* }

Me: If he wants to be placed in Charlotte, he just needs to sign up for an interview with the Charlotte supervisor. And he can tell her that he’d like to be put in a high school. I don’t think it will be a problem.

Him: Okay! *click*

Me: What the fuck was THAT all about????

WELL, this has been a fun day! On the up-side, it’s nearly time to go home and we’ve been crisis-free for oh, fifteen minutes or so.