our office of the perpetual crisis

Why, yes, I am at work. How on earth did you guess?

I’m trying to distract myself from incessant phone calls and emails and office chatter . And chaos. And Insane Boss calling out my name constantly as she thinks of twenty more things she needs right this minute.  And  of course the ongoing Crisis Parade. I’m trying very very hard to get out of this place, but I’m kind of stuck. I have to have insurance (thank you, Pre-Existing Condition!) so I have to stay on campus. And campus jobs are pretty secure as well. I check out the postings weekly, and even though my standards for the kind of job I’ll take have plummeted (clean toilets? Why sure I will! Just let me out of this place!) I still don’t want to take a job where I have to work nights and weekends, or where summer is the busiest time. Like both jobs this week. Yeah, I’m picky. So I’m trying to make the best of the situation I have while I have it. I think the worst thing is that I sincerely thought things would get much better when New Person arrived, and before I realized Insane Boss is insane. Now I’m coming to terms with the reality of the situation. It’s not gotten better. It’s gotten much much worse. And I think that if things haven’t improved in five months, it’s a pretty safe bet that they won’t.

My biggest fear is that New Person J is going to quit. She doesn’t HAVE to do this. She’s retired once from a job at Duke, and her husband is retired from a good job, and she’s just working to pay off credit cards. When the cards are paid off, I’m sure she’ll be out of here. I’m hoping she’s got some MAJOR bills. I’m trying not to think about what will happen then.  

Oh, well. All I can do is make the best of it. Write in my journal! Take lunch and leave at 5! Oh, and today I not only took lunch, but I went to the Fitness Center and walked three miles on the treadmill! That was quite a feat. I’ve been telling myself daily I’m going up there and working out, and every day I come up with a million reasons not to. A million reasons why going home, lying on the couch, and eating lots of chocolate would make me feel MUCH better. I really have wanted to walk – my favorite form of exercise – but the weather has been awful. Really cold. Like 20s. Colder than I can stand, being a wimp and all. So I’ve been even more annoyed at myself for not going to the fitness center. And I realized the other day that one of the biggest obstacles is that I haven’t been there in so long that I felt very intimidated. It’s probably been a couple of YEARS since I’ve been. So I don’t really know if it will be crowded or when’s the best time to go or if there is a place to stash my coat or if my ID will still work or if I have to sign up for the machines and if I DO have to sign up, how do I do it and everyone else there will know exactly what they’re doing and they will all mock me because I’m so uncool and maybe I better just go home and lie on the couch and eat chocolate. Because that way I won’t have to admit I don’t know what I’m doing! Because I sure know how to lie on the couch and eat chocolate!

Seriously, I had no idea that I’m so bothered by not knowing what I’m doing. And by the fear that I might have to ask someone for help. Why, perish the thought! That’s kind of weird.

So knowing that’s apparently what I feared most, I was able to march right on up there, ask the girl at the desk where the lockers were, have her look at my card when it did in fact NOT work, (she let me in anyway) and get the lowdown on how to work the sign-up sheets. Yeah, REAL intimidating. Now I’m fine with going back, too. Once I get my card working. Which is a matter of calling another office.

Oh, look, time to go! I’ll leave you with some pictures of the cutest cat on earth! Well, the quality of these pictures is not that great – I actually just found this old disc from WalMart that they apparently gave me when I got this roll developed. Seven years ago. But they sure are cute.

Baby Stella lurking behind her hero Colfax! Who would probably slap her if she realized Stella was back there.

Cute litte Stella and Baker B!

Cute little Stella and her toys!

And in the rocker at my parents. Awww!

And this next one requires a bit of explaining. We got Stella from a woman who lived across the street from us at the time. Her cat had kittens, and three or four were calicos. She moved away several years ago, but still owns the house and rents it out. A few weeks ago she got a new renter, who turned out to be a woman who used to work in Baker B’s office. She was a grad student at the time, and now has a permanent job in the library. She also has a calico cat. And her calico cat looks so much like Stella that they could be twins. She’s shaped like Stella, she’s marked up like Stella – although her face has more white and of course she isn’t as adorable as Stella – she acts like Stella, she flops over and rolls on the sidewalk like Stella does. And she comes to our house all the time. She’s taken to coming to the deck, and sitting out there looking in. Which makes Stella have a fit, because Stella finds her VERY threatening. Perhaps she’s afraid of a cuteness-competitor. Anyhow, I think the whole thing is really odd and Baker B REALLY needs to find out where exactly our neighbor got this cat, and if it is indeed related to Stella.

But here’s a picture of the cat (I don’t know her name) looking in. As Stella, on the rocker, looks back out:

I’m not sure why Stella is just looking at her instead of attacking the door like she generally does. Oddly, they don’t seem to fight when Stella is outside. I think they just sit and stare at each other. I bet they’ve VERY confused.