more diversions

I’m sleeeeepy. I can’t concentrate on my work. I can’t concentrate on catching up with everybody’s diaries either, so I’ll have to beg forgiveness and do it later. I need a nap. Actually, I slept like the dead last night, after going to bed early, so I should be refreshed, but judging by the last few times I was taking care of the parents it will take me days to get over it. And then I get to go right back again! At least it will just be for two days. Two nights, a full day and two partial days.

I totally agree with all the notes saying that we will have to do something about my mother. Totally. My brother said we need to get her on a nursing home waiting list. And that’s such a horrible thing to have to consider- especially when we really didn’t think she was anywhere near that point yet – but we do. Daddy won’t be able to take care of her without help when he comes home – not till he’s completely recovered. Since he’s 80 years old, that’s not going to happen real fast. One somewhat less horrifying option is adult day care, which my sister-in-law is looking into. Or the respite care place which takes people on a short term basis. And the woman who helps her with showers – who is a friend and coworker of the SIL – may also be able to help us out as a home-nurse kind of person. Mama knows her now and likes her, although she still can’t figure out why she needs someone coming over to help her shower. So there ARE things we can do that won’t require slapping her in a nursing home just yet. And won’t require us all going completely insane either. Of course, she will be REALLY upset at any of these options – especially the ones involving her going somewhere else – but, oh WELL. I don’t think we have much choice at this point.

Since I don’t have to think about this right now, I’m going to quit thinking about it. And write about fun things instead. Well, okay, maybe this isn’t exactly fun… but it’s pretty funny. Have you heard about the woman who had her pit bull cloned? She’s from Newland NC! Right down the road from us!! And suddenly it’s come out that she’s wanted in England for kidnapping a Mormon missionary and making him her sex slave! And she is wanted for all sorts of stuff in Avery County, apparently. You’d think with all that baggage, you’d try to NOT have your face plastered on news articles all around the world because you had your dog cloned, but whatever! We saw the dog cloning story a few days ago and marveled at how very very crazy she sounded and looked, and how that is just a little creepy, cloning your dead dog and thinking you have him back again times five, but somehow we TOTALLY overlooked that she’s from Newland. I don’t think I even realized she was from NC.

And in happier personal news, I went jeans shopping at lunch. And I can get into a SIX. I’ve actually already bought a pair of shorts that are sixes a couple of weeks ago, in a stretchy material, and although it’s quite thrilling to get into a six (I was thrilled enough by 8s) it does make me wonder what in the hell is wrong with sizes now?? I have not lost that much weight. An 8 I can believe – I weigh about what I did a number of years ago when I was getting into 8’s, and those 8’s fit – but a six is just silly. And so is a FOUR which I also got on and zipped up in a pair of kind of stretchy shorts. And they were not too tight. I actually want to lose 7 or 8 more pounds because I still have some flab issues, and when I do, I’m not too sure where I’m going to find clothes if I can wear 4’s and 6’s now. Everywhere I shop has lots of 8’s, some 6’s, a few 4’s and maybe one 2. And I know I’m not THAT skinny. I have weighed 20 pounds less than I do now, and I wasn’t too skinny then. I also didn’t wear a negative-number size. So I’m not too sure what is going on with these crazy sizes. But whatever!

I haven’t even done anything at all radical. Not any more radical than eating lots of fruits and veggies and whole grains and walking a lot. And by "a lot" I mean hardly at all in weeks, but I’m walking some. And trying to walk more. I take food to work with me, haven’t had fast food in probably six months, and eat very little sugar. To my surprise, when I cut out the sugar and white flour (or cut way back, I haven’t cut anything at all out because that’s the quickest way to make myself obsessed with something I don’t even like that much, like, oh, Pop Tarts, so that’s all that I want to eat, and I want to have a couple of boxes of them) I quit craving it. And I do mean QUIT. I can eat a couple of bites of a cookie, and not have the slightest desire for more. Let alone for the whole box and a carton of Ben and Jerry’s on top of that. This has been a very very VERY good thing, given my current parental stress. Because I have always been a stress eater, and I can easily see myself gaining 25 pounds instead of losing it. Instead, I think I’ve swung the other way and don’t want to eat anything. Well, I did have ice cream with my mother quite a few times because that’s one of the few things she’ll eat, and she won’t eat it unless you’re having some too, but I was able to just eat a scoop. Although I can sure see how my father was eating as much as she was, since it’s awfully easy to pile up your own bowl when you’re depressed and tired and you really really like ice cream. 

But anyhow, it’s kind of weird. It’s taken ages – I’ve been losing a pound or so a week, so it’s not like overnight – but I know from past experience that losing it slow helps it stay off. And I’m not at all worried about gaining it back because I’m perfectly happy with what I’m eating. I don’t yearn for anything I’ve told myself I can’t have. I can eat a little bit and be completely satisfied. And I like to cook so I’ve been making the most of that. Taking advantage of that, I should say. Actually cooking, instead of foraging on unhealthy handy junk. And I feel SO much better, which is even more incentive to keep doing what I’m doing. Whatever it is. I should probably figure it out and write a book about it, and get rich and famous. Then I could buy some really fancy jeans!