don’t miss that boat to fuckity off island!

Well, The Speech went off as well as it could, considering I kept saying, ummmmm, ummmmm, ummmmmmm…. and didn’t even introduce myself till like halfway through. There were only around 100 people there, which proved to be a problem when the manager of the auditorium attacked me immediately afterwards. A problem in that we are only supposed to use the auditorium for big crowds, like, say, 400 or so. It’s a pretty big place. BUT, we don’t KNOW how many are going to turn up. There could easily be 400 – there should be more than that if two semester’s worth of Future Student Teachers show up. I will admit the low turnout was partly my fault, since I didn’t really go to any great lengths to advertise it this year. I seriously did not have time to even think about it, and about all I did was have my student worker plaster flyers around our building and send them over to the other buildings where the secondary teaching majors are, where they may or may not have been posted. I should have put a notice in the paper, I should have gotten an email sent out to all of them, I should have done quite a few OTHER things – but that would mean I had time to spend on it. I’ve been too busy with stuff that’s reached Crisis Point because I can’t get things done till they ARE a crisis. So, sue me!!!

Well, the auditorium manager was NOT pleased, and after coming up to me, introducing herself (I’ve met her like FIVE TIMES already, incidently – I meet her anew every time we’re over there) and saying she really wanted to talk to Dr. Airhead but since he was in COSTA RICA she’d just attack…ummm, TALK…to me instead! And then she just starts RANTING to me about how we have GOT to quit having these meetings there because we NEVER have enough people to use the auditorium and they can NOT keep paying ten people overtime so we can have a fifteen-minute meeting for 100 people instead of an hour meeting for 400 people …. and on and on and ON.

And of COURSE she has a valid point (although I’m not too sure why they need ten people to turn the lights and a microphone on) and I kept trying to tell her that this meeting usually IS the one that’s at least 300 people and the others we’ve had over there lately have only been because we couldn’t get the student union and they HAVE been around 300 which is a good crowd, for god’s sake, this is the only time we’ve had so few… but she would not let me get in two words. She just went on and on and on, and I kept trying to defend myself and apologize as well, but it was AWFUL. She was smiling and had on Friendly Face the entire time, but she would.not.shut.up. It was like being attacked by a passive-aggressive Mr. Lahey. Which is only funny if you’ve seen Trailer Park Boys. Which is all we HAVE watched lately, so that thought did at least amuse me.

And oh, how I wished I could morph into Ricky. Who would say something along the lines of “You can fucking shut the fuck up with your fancy fucking auditorium reservationing talk and get the fuck out of my face, because you’re just about to miss the boat to fuckity off island, you and your lazy-ass microphoning lighting fucks!!!” Or something.

But no, I’m a hopeless wimp. So I kept TRYING to get a word in sideways, and failing, and kept letting her rant all over the place, and felt like an idiot, and got even madder because I AM such a wimp and I didn’t turn into Ricky. My only consolation was that I got the impression she’s as much of a confrontation-avoider as I am, and was only attacking me because her boss was mad at her about us. And that’s probably why she went on and on and on – she was upset about having to say anything at all and was afraid I would, like, DEFEND myself. Yeah, right. But I’m still pissed off at myself for not being able to do anything but stand there and let her interrupt me every time I tried to reason with her.

And of course K made me feel even WORSE about it – she missed the whole thing because she was several rows away talking to some students. When I told her she told me I’ve GOT to get over being so WIMPY and stand UP for myself, and she wished to GOD she’d known that was GOING ON because she’d have put that little bitch in her PLACE… and she would have, too. Her student worker was there TOO, standing right beside me, and after the auditorium manager finally went away she said, “Is this NOT a UNIVERSITY building, and are we not PART OF THE UNIVERSITY, and can we not have meetings here if we just have five people show up????? You REALLY need to let me handle these things!!!!!” And I really do. In these politically-correct-crazy times, I run the risk of sounding very improper saying this, but K’s student is a very large, very very black girl with an attitude, and I SHOULD let her handle these things, because she can scare the shit out of people. Because we are in a very white-oriented world down here in The Bizarro South. And she really WILL say what she thinks to people, unlike me, who can be a total smartass in my diary or to my friends, but won’t do it when push comes to shove. Because I’m POLITE. Damned Southern upbringing. She only kept her mouth shut because she didn’t want me to look even worse, I’m sure.

So, yeah, I’m a complete and total wimp.

On the plus side, it’s Friday. And I’m going to stop thinking about my job now.

And here, for your dining and dancing pleasure, are some more photos – all nearby, near the Greenway. Leaves in the creek, an old barn, and me standing on a pipe. With a great big sewer thing behind me. Baker B took that one.