dear helicopter mommies:
N Dear Helicopter Mommy #1: I am so sorry that your kid is apparently not all that smart and could not make the required 2.0 GPA in his Business minor. No, he can’t graduate anyway. Yes, I know that the silly College of Business is mean and hateful and unfair and should just forget the GPA requirement and let him graduate anyhow, because he wants to graduate and since he wants to graduate it’s just not fair to refuse to let him. And no, I don’t understand either why they won’t just let him swap the BUS 1050 class that he did okay in but isn’t part of his minor for the ACC 1050 class that he made a D in, and which IS part of his minor. Yes, they ARE both called "1050". Principles of Business and Introduction to Accounting are obviously the same thing. I really think they should substitute MUS 1050, since Into to Music is obviously no different than Intro to Accounting.
N Dear Helicopter Mommy #2: Your kid applied to graduate. Your kid was already missing a bunch of stuff required to graduate. And now your kid has failed three of the courses he was in this semester. Plus his GPA already was too low to graduate in his major AND his minor. Plus he’s been on academic probation pretty much the entire time he’s been at this college and was suspended this semester but was given an exception by my boss, meaning he was allowed to take classes despite being on suspension, with the condition that he do well this semester. Failing three classes is not doing well. I am very very proud of my mild mannered, extremely sweet boss, who sat there and listened to your sob stories ("I’ve been an educator for thirty years myself!") (while your kid said basically nothing) and who then explained that your kid’s only option now is to take summer school classes until his GPA is back to a 2.0, and when you kept asking what we can do to let him back in school this fall again replied, "Ummmmm… NOTHING. He CAN NOT come back. I gave him an exception this semester and he failed three more classes. NO MORE EXCEPTIONS."
I wanted to cheer.
N Dear Every Single Helicopter Mommy and Daddy who has called or come in to explain to me how their child is special and should not have to adhere to these silly rules that are intended for the lowly children of lesser mortals and we need to let them graduate no matter what has been left undone or outright failed: Fuck.Off.
I have a very very clear understanding of why so many of these college kids firmly believe they should receive special treatment and they should not have to make any effort whatsoever and not making a minimum grade or not passing a class or not turning in a project or whatEVER should not keep them from graduating, because their parents have embedded in them that they are very very special and very very entitled and everyone is going to make all kinds of exceptions for them.
N Dear Mommy whose kid just left you a voicemail to let you know he failed all his classes and is now not answering his phone, and you have a whole gaggle of family coming into town for the graduation ceremony TOMORROW: Wow. Every time I think I couldn’t be happier that I didn’t have kids, I hear something like this and I am even happier that I didn’t have kids. Yikes.
What an afternoon. That’s just the tip of the iceburg but thank GOD it’s time to go home now. And sorry about these weird fonts. I think the skulls did it.
Ha ha ha. Except that last one – that totally sucks!
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OH, I know this comes around every year, and the nasty me just looks forward to hearing about it. It NEVER quite seems like it could possibly be real!! JackRyan is still speechless. (I read this to him.) “Wow”. Is about all he can muster. I, of course, nasty thing who doesn’t care about the migraine you must have by now, am LMFAO!
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Holy crap! These are parents of college students?! Yikes. Hope you have a great weekend and forget about them all.
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This is how kids are being raised and you said it very well. Everyone is special. Eh.
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haha.. Wow… being a parent of kids this age.. well, I’m sure hoping I didn’t raise them to feel they could pull such BS in life!
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i have met a few helicopters in my life. what is with this entitlement attitude? tisk.
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You’ve just made me glad I have laryngitis and missed work the last 3 days! LOL
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I had a mom on the phone the other day whose son had seen one of our counselors, who was helping him with an appeal regarding last semester. First I explained about counselor/patient confidentiality, then I explained about FERPA, and she said, “It just makes it so hard to help him!” As the conversation went on, I finally said, “Is your son incapacitated?” I couldn’t help it, Edna.
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It just popped out! But I was able to cover my tracks by saying, “I mean, he didn’t file an appeal because he was in the hospital, right?” Fortunately, she didn’t pick up on my sarcasm about why her KID wasn’t calling. I felt kinda bad, but don’t you just want to say that sometimes?
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Yeah, I’m glad I don’t have kids too. Oh wait, I have two. I’m one of those seldom seen, atypical parents – a Submarine Mom.
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Wow.
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hee hee I don’t miss working for a college.
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My mom’s a college professor and she deals with students like this all the damn time. It’s unbelievable to me! As for the woman who whined about having been an educator for 30 years – obviously that didn’t translate into quality parenting! My parents hammered into my head from a very early age that I was responsible for my own success, and that success had better amount to very good grades, andtherefore I worked my butt off to get them. THAT is how you teach children to be successful, not by making excuses for them!
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This time of year is really atrocious as far as school is concerned. I’m so glad I don’t know a single person graduating this year.
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I can see why the parents are pissed off – all that money wasted! But hey, money does not intelligence make.
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wow. just. wow.
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Omg, you could write a book!
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These were sickeningly hilarious. There does seem to be a category of people who think a college degree is something you buy like trash bags at WalMart. Yeah, somebody is paying, but the student still has to work. Too bad some of these helicopter parents didn’t attend the courses, too. Apparently they do everything else for their precious brats.
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Whoa… I can’t believe people actually *do* those things! Hugs, John
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Ah. Modern parenting. Nobody gets first place ribbons for winning the race. Everyone gets a prize for participating. This is our mentality in this country. Teachers are persecuted for trying to do their jobs and people, instead of raising their children, let Nintendo do it. My condolences are with you this time if year for the death if common sense.
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It’s amazing those parents don’t still wipe their kids a**es, since they obviously do everything else for them. Oh, yeah, except study. So glad you left Friday with your sense of humor still intact. Truth IS stranger than fiction. You couldn’t make this stuff up!
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ryn: Do you mean like the doctor who was a hologram on Star Trek Voyager? 🙂 I think you created a new word!
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Wow. A kind boss that is compassionate but is able to set limits and stick to them. How refreshing! How maddening this all must be. It must be getting worse. Most Honorable has mostly foreign students so their parents are blessedly not in the picture but that substitution attempt happens to him all the time. Each year he gets more stressed out. I think you guys should get sabbaticals too,
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I am so sure that every successful business is lining up to hire someone who cannot make a 2.0 in a Business Minor. You really should not be too harsh on these fragile young things. After all, if they fail to measure up to academic standards, they can always seek public office. In state legislatures across of country, there is a never-ending demand for mediocrity.
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wow. crossing my fingers that my boy doesn’t turn out like this! yikes…
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RYN: With luck, it’ll go viral and Trump will pick up on it.
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There are parents who don’t get that college kids are supposed to be responsible for their choices.
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It’s so true !!! Kids can such a pain in the pootooty… And rarely quite wonderful !!
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Beth, as funny as you make this, the underlying truth that you hit on is no laughing matter. You got it…all this “specialness” smacks up against the real world, and these kids are zero-equipped to handle it. Makes you want to smack them and their parents upside the head to knock some sense into them. Or it does me. 🙂
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this is unbelievable! i just don’t get the thinking process of some people. but there are some people i know who think they are exempt from anything “happening” to them. do you think this is part of the same gene?? trust me, having children is NOT the end all. i like the grand kids more. oh, did i say that out loud? ryn: Thomas is such a hoot! i couldn’t stop laughing either. yes, mother’s day does lose it’s luster when your mother is no longer here.
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You are a saint! How does someone even get a GPA below a 2, I feel like that would be almost impossible.
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It is very hard to watch your children try and fail. However, I believe that it is necessary when they are younger (than high school) to allow it. There are lessons in realizing that there are consequences for your actions.
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Wow…just wow…and you know, with the exception of a few, a lot of courses I’ve taken since returning to college are not that hard. (I probably didn’t even earn the B in Spanish on the basis of the tests, but because I came to class, turned assignments in, wrote my name on the tests, etc.)…
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Sounds as though they SHOULD have been hovering at the beginning of the term. 🙂
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funny and sad
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Glad you love beautiful birds, too. Thanks for stopping by. We also opted not to have children and thank the lucky stars. My husband taught for thirty years and he had very few calls like this, a couple, but not many. Perhaps you’d like to apply for a job at the University of Northern Iowa! 😉 Happy End of the School Year!
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I feel sorry for the kids!
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