Murder @ COSTCO

MURDER AT COSTCO

Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary.  He then arranged to have her killed.

A ‘friend of a friend’ put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of ‘Artie.’  Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $10,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn’t have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife’s insurance money.  Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the lone ‘Loony’ that rested inside.  Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar coin as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later Artie followed the man’s wife to the local Costco Supermarket. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands.  As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled upon the gruesome scene.  Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, ol’ Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire incident was captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the shop’s security guard, who immediately called the police.  Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the premises.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the Newspaper, the headline declared:

"ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ Costco"