A Dear John Letter

I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for your warm, caring smile, and your soft, gentle touch. You reached me in places I never knew existed. You broke through all my walls, you crashed down all my barriers. You reached a depth no one else had dared to enter. You gave me a glimpse of what I could be, if I dared to break free of these chains that bind me.

You also hurt me beyond words. I cannot describe the pain you caused me, for it is indescribable. Only one who has loved could know how deep that hurt went, but even then, one wouldn’t know the exact dimension of my pain, except the one who lived it. You did ease my pain, for the most part, although there is still a small pin-prick wound, leaking the blood of my heart every time it beats. It’s a dull ache now, I hardly notice, except when Night comes. That’s when my imagination is free to roam. I lie awake in bed, thinking of you as a tear rolls down my cheek. I could never let you know my true feelings, for I know you did the right thing, and I wouldn’t want you to have to endure the pain I went through. I want you to have a happy life, one where no sorrows would be able to reach you, but I know that’s not possible, that it would have to be a fairytale or a dream. You’ll have problems, and sorrows, sure, but I hope to GOD that no one will ever hurt you beyond repair.

I think it’s the hope that hurts me, or maybe it’s because I can’t stand the thought of living without you in my life, I don’t know.

I hope you never find this, or read this, and I hope I have enough common sense not to give it to you, or read it to you myself.

And if, by chance, you should come across these words, I hope you have no pain, no guilt, and no regrets.

Life goes on.