the happiness project

Hi, strangers.  I suck at life for not noting and for barely reading.  Sorry!  Life has been crazy with planning the wedding, my boss leaving at work, two sickly animals, and so forth.  Only two months left until the wedding and I’m finally starting to get reallllly exciiiiiited. 🙂  And I’ve been reading The Happiness Project, so I wanted to write down some of the quotes I’ve found memorable and things I’ve learned so far.

– "Love is a funny thing.  I’d donate a kidney to Jamie without a moment’s hesitation, but I was intensely annoyed if he asked me to make a special stop at the drugstore to pick up shaving cream."

Bill never complains when I ask him to stop at the store for something, or if I ask him to run by the bank or post office.  Yet if he asks me to do something like this, I feel like it’s such an inconvenience and why can’t he just do it?  Total double standard.  Just thought it was interesting the way Gretchen put this feeling that I definitely share.

– It takes at least five positive marital actions to offset one critical or destructive action.

Can’t remember where she got this stat, or if she made it up herself, but I thought it was interesting and  most likely true.

– "There is no love; there are only proofs of love."  (Pierre Reverdy)  Whatever love I might feel in  my heart, others will see only my actions.

Really love this one.  The only way I can show someone how I feel, make them truly understand it, is in my actions.  If my actions include snapping at Bill, my mom, my dad (which I often do)… that doesn’t really show how much I love them.  Patience, kindness, understanding show them how much I care.  

– "One of the great joys of falling in love is the feeling that the most extraordinary person in the entire world has chosen you."

Couldn’t have said it better. 

 – Sometimes the most difficult part of a task is just deciding to do it.  

SO TRUE.  How many times have I put something off over and over and over again only to finally get it done and realize it wasn’t nearly that bad after all?

– "We are happy when we are growing… it isn’t goal attainment but the process of striving after goals-that is, growth-that brings happiness… The challenge, therefore, is to take pleasure in the ‘atmosphere of growth,’ in the gradual progress made toward a goal, in the present… A sense of growth is so important to happiness that it’s often preferable to be progressing to the summit rather than to be at the summit."

Totally on board with this.  I’ve learned there is little I love more than growing, feeling like I’m improving and learning, working toward something.  Once I accomplish a goal, I do feel proud and enjoy the satisfaction, but I’m very quickly looking for the next project or goal to attain because I enjoy the process more than anything.  

– "One reason that challenge brings happiness is that it allows you to expand your self-definition.  You become larger."

Yes, yes, yes.  The more challenges I meet, the better I feel about myself because it makes me larger and better.  Challenges and experiences widen my horizons.  I never really thought about it this way, why I loved learning new things, going new places, and having new experiences – it expands my self-definition.  Makes perfect sense.

– "The days are long, but the years are short."

So unbelievably true.  Each day can seem like an eternity, yet I’m always amazed how quickly each month and year passes.  Btw, I can’t believe it’s been almost four years since the Olympics in Beijing!  Since I graduated college!  FOUR years… wow.

– "To eke out the most happiness from an experience, we must anticipate it, savor it as it unfolds, express happiness, and recall a happy memory…  What’s known as the ‘rosy prospection, anticipation of happiness is something greater than the happiness actually experienced.  All the more reason to revel in anticipation."

I’m trying to remember this in the midst of wedding-planning stress.  Never again will I be engaged and planning my wedding.  My bridal shower is this weekend, and it’ll be the only time that I am the bride at a bridal shower (something I’ve envisioned at every bridal shower I’ve attended).  And very quickly, both the moments of the shower and the wedding will pass.  I must remember to savor them while they happen, express to everyone there how happy I am they could come share this moment with me, and recall these memories later in life.

[Charlotte]