12 days of nojomo

An old friend from high school messaged me on Facebook late last night.  She’s someone I used to be very close to… she was one of my best friends from about 7th grade to 10th or 11th.  But sometime after high school graduation, I stopped talking to her.

More or less on purpose.

We kind of drifted apart a bit naturally, and as we tried to get together from time to time after decent absences apart, I started to realize she was rather self-absorbed and not that much fun to be around.

Unfortunately, not much has changed.  

I welcomed her IM with an open heart and was kind of excited about the idea of rekindling our friendship.  Especially since she started the conversation by telling me she really missed me, and I thought that was sweet.

But in the 30-45 minutes we chatted, she didn’t once ask me about my life.  She talked about herself, she talked about her siblings, her husband, her life.  She talked about memories of high school and how our friendship used to be.  But she never asked me a single thing about how I’ve been, about my life in New York, about my fiancee.  

Not much has changed.

But it made me think about the type of friend I’ve been to some people, or used to be.  And I’m 100% certain I have acted that way with some people.  I’m pretty sure I used to be extremely self-absorbed.  I hope that I have changed.  I feel like I have, at least.

And it made me think about other friends I’ve lost touch with that I miss and have reached out to, only to not really have them reach back.  The same way in which I have no real interest in reaching back to this friend.  It makes me wonder if those people look at me the same way I look at her – it was nice to know you but I have no real interest in ever speaking to you again.

And that kind of sucks.