you’re no burden, I assure.

Lah. I tried to sleep, but it’s not happening for now. *sigh*

Watched M’s kids tonite. Mostly just DB cuz RB went to tumbling. DB has strep tho, so no dance classes for her. I worked on my homework while she finished up hers. She came over and was reading over my shoulder (Well, prolly not reading, just looking. And she did ask first.) cuz she likes my laptop. And for a second I thought “hrm. I shouldn’t prolly be sitting here cheek to cheek with a kid who has strep cuz one thing I cannot afford right now is to come down with any physical illnesses. Not when I have an exam this week and finals next week. It just can’t happen.

But. She’s 8. And even if we both knew that I would be scootching away to avoid getting sick…yeah, still not something I can do. Besides, I could’ve kept her in her room all nite and stayed in the basement and *still* catch it, seeing as those bacteria and viruses can hang in the air for 4 hours or more sometimes. *shrugs* She’s worth it.

RB came home full of energy, as usual. heh. He was impressed that I knew The Chipmunks’ “All I want for Christmas” song (with the huuuuuula hooooooop) cuz he was singing it and I joined in and he stopped and stared at me with those big brown eyes. You mean, you’ve heard that song before? You know that song???? hehe. “Yes dear. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalviiiiiiiiiiiiiin!!!” He stared at me and breathed out aw man, that’s sweeeeet. *grin* Oh to be five again and think that I’ve discovered the wheel before anyone else…:o)

Don’t necessarily want to go to therapy tomorrow. *sigh* Hoping I can just….avoid hurting myself between now and then? Which, considering I have to be at Hoss’s at 11am for a mandatory class meeting (Yeah, no one took in to consideration that there MIGHT be vegetarian’s in the group. Not that Hoss’s doesn’t have non-meat selections. But. No one also considered the fact that SOME of us can’t afford to eat out. I’m gonna feel like a real idiot sitting there sipping water while everyone’s chowing down….*sigh* And someone will inevitably offer to buy me something and I’ll turn them down cuz I wouldn’t finish it anyways….) Plus it’s an hour away, so. Then I have to come home and finish an assignment and write a paper (that I thought was due today. Glad I didn’t stress too much by forcing myself to stay up and write it this weekend… It’s due on Wednesday.) Then study.

And try to not freak out about the whole “exam on thursday with a cumulative final 4 days later…” thing.

I was in a relatively good mood for a while yesterday. I always feel guilty, when I’m all giddy and such and express as such to people and then the next time I see/talk to them, I’m down again. Especially when it’s the next day.

I feel like I need to throw up. Ugh.

lah. Talked to AJ for a while tonite. Was kinda….eh…at times. Just cuz I’ve had a long, frustrating day and just not in the mood to be agreeable. But it’s ok. We’re ok. Well. Not really. The whole being two hours away is killing us both! I wish we were closer. I miss her so fucking much it’s not even funny. I could just…I dunno. I was hugging her this weekend and just thought “If I had to stay somewhere for eternity, I would choose here, in the crook of her neck, just inhaling the fragrance of her skin, feeling her pulse against my cheek, hearing it even, if it was quiet and we were standing still. If I could just stay there, in that little dip forever, I might be ok. *sigh*

We were just laying around this weekend and at one point, she said something like “I just…can’t wait to start our life together…”

Yeah. Me either. Tho, we already HAVE a life together, but. I know what she really means.