What?

People are being shot in this tiny little town I live in. Ok, not people. But a person. *sigh*

The Allies mtg went better than I expected. That could have something to do with the fact that I sat on the floor the entire time and played with Doc E’s puppy dog. lol. I looked down at my shirt during the next meeting of my nite, and realized there was dry dog snot in several places. *smiles* Animals are wonderful. lol. He kept trying to eat my pen and my paper and sit in my lap and lick off my face and bite off my arm. And I enjoyed every minute of it. Good therapy. I was glad that Doc P made it to the meeting, as he didn’t know if he was going to. I don’t know why it makes a difference. He just makes me smile. Or maybe I just like the fact that he doesn’t make me uncomfortable. heh. Anyhow, so he didn’t really know if he’d make the meeting, so I went upstairs when I got to the building to see if he was there, but he wasn’t, but J was, with one of her kids. (lol. I went in her office earlier today and was like “hey. You’re not J!” *rolls eyes*) lah. Pretty, pretty kid. One of the prettiest people I’ve ever met. And, speaking of pretty people, I saw a lady I worked/volunteer with at a banquet type thing that I went to tonite. Her kid is also beautiful, stunningly so. I don’t know that I would want to be beautiful, cuz then I’d spend endless hours worrying about turning -un-beautiful. I’m…average looking. “Exotic” is the most often used term, actually, which I find funny. I don’t think I look exotic in the least. I think it’s a euphamism for not cute, not beautiful, not ugly, not detestable. lol. Whatever.

I don’t know really what’s….wrong….with me. I just hurt or am numb or…something?? Not physically (well, physically too, but I know the cause of that…) Just. I can’t seem to hold it all together. I’m coming undoneagain and it’s frustrating.