To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything. -Julie Newmar

lah. I have this movie. I’ve seen it once. I forget what it was about tho.

I’m actually caught up at work. Woo. And I even left for an hour today to go to an interview, hehe. The interview was ok. Certainly not my best, as I am still sick and was not at all prepared. But I think I muddled thru. It’s only 25 hours a week. And I forgot to ask what the pay was. *rolls eyes* I really wasn’t feeling well. heh.

Mostly finished up with all of my stuff- Just one MTP to do, but it’s not due until the 16th, so I’m ok with that. And JP is in tomorrow to help, so she usually does all of the updates, and I can finish the master’s (there were at least two on their way in as I was on their way out. lah..) So.

Finished everything and zipped over to therapy. Had a lovely cup of chamomile tea. My throat hurt/s so bad. That helped a bit. At least it didn’t hurt as much as everything else I had been drinking today. Which, admittedly, was only an orange soda. heh. oops. Of course, chamomile tea is like….I dunno. I’d say my addiction, but I don’t drink it *that* often. Tho generally when I drink tea, it is that kind cuz it’s my favourite. Except for the real English tea that Sal made for me in AZ. *That* was pretty fucking exquisite.

The rest of therapy. We talked a bit about my weekend. Which. Made me kinda anxious I guess. Mum and her constant death-talk. *sigh* And Life. And. I dunno. I just. I don’t know how I’m supposed to make everything work. I really don’t. And sometimes it seems like the more I try, the worse it gets. Or that the things I do that I thought were good end up being bad decisions in the end. I dunno. And my guilt about saying No on the few occasions when I say it. lah lah lah. issssssuuuuuueeeeees.

Anyways. Just as she was asking me what I wanted….her snail fell from the top of the fishtank. It always amuses me when snails do that. They just, let go and float to the bottom or float around the top. And I just. Watched him sink to the bottom and go in his shell.

It was quite metaphorical to me.

But it’s also not an option.

Gah. I just remember that I had the strangest fucking dream last nite. About turtles and… “silverfish” and one turtle was eating the other….apparently I lived in an apartment with someone. And she was selling her turtle and some old lady came over to look at them. She even had a Turtle Bag to take it home in…which was…a sack in the shape of a turtle. Which. Uh. Anyways. And all the turtles were in the bathtub but mine lived in the toilet? At least, at the end I realized that mine had been living in the toilet and I was like “Wait!!! How? That means all this time we’ve been going to the bathroom on it and flushing it…how did it survive??” That’s about when I dreamed the other turtle was eating it, and the other turtle had like, eaten the whole outside, leaving my turtle just all like yellow raw skin and stuff? Strange.

Anyways. Uh. Therapy. Then we sat on the couch and she gave me a long hug during which I nearly fell asleep. I think I dozed off a little bit, in that like, half-almost-asleep state? Cuz I was thinking to myself that her heartbeat was slowish and that I was warm but kind of cold and then I was startled and awake and don’t remember what else I was thinking. Then I came home and fed the cats, etc etc.

And now I think I’ll go to bed. Cuz seriously? I feel craaaapppy. Different symptoms than yesterday….more cough and achy today. Yesterday was more stuffy nose and sneezing and headache. bleurgh.