*thud* *thudthudthudthudBONK*

That’s me. Falling down the stairs. *g* Well. More like *GRIN* heheh. With a :oD tossed in for the helluvit. hehe.

So. Does it scare me that 2.5 days ago I was “parasuicidal” really fucking depressed and now I’m like, a giggling teenager in luuuuuuuurve? hahaha. Ok, not quite in love. But. Uhm. Definately in like. Very much in Like. Yesh, yesh it does. But. Oh well.

First I’ll say that I just talked to Mrs P for an hour and 44 seconds. *eep* She mostly talked. It was really nice to hear from her. She had emailed a bit ago- we go in fits and spurts, I guess. Email a bunch for a few weeks and then nothing at all for months, rinse&repeat. Anyways. So before she said she had something she wanted to -talk- to me about, but wanted to do it over the phone rather than on email. And that she’d call me when she got home from her latest trip. Eeesh. So I emailed her a few days ago and said Ok, Ok…you’re home now, what’s UP??? lol. I was intrigued. Mostly she just wanted to talk about Gloria and to see if I was taking my synthroid so that she could yell at me if I wasn’t. *g* She’s lovely. And we talked about stupid people who love Dubya, feminism, gayness, married black guys who seek out random one nite male fuckbuddies but who aren’t gay, meds, alcoholism…and stuff. hehe. Ya know, nice light conversation. *grin* It was lovely to hear from her. And, to know that she’s ok with the whole gay thing, cuz she never really said much about it. But she seems ok with it. So that’s kewl.

Anyways. Speaking of. hehe. AJ. hmmm. Yummy!!

I managed to, of course, leave late on Saturday, but drove pretty fast and got there around 1ish, instead of 12 or 1230 like originally planned. But I don’t think she was mad. 🙂 She came out and gave me a huuuug. hehe. (hahah. can we say CUTE?) and then we went inside and I met her gram, who also gave me a hug! lol. I was like “awww! a huggie family!” and they laughed. ehehe. I got the quick tour of her house (she lives with her gram, tho her parents live close by. I think they’re not ok with her sexuality, and while her gram isn’t a huge fan of it, she very obviously loves AJ like crazy which is why she lives with her instead of her parents, I assume.)

Then we went downstairs and played with her bunnies for a bit, then went to her room and sat and tried to think of what to do. She gave me her book of dvd’s to look thru to see if we wanted to watch something. I almost died. Not only do I have almost every one of the movies she has, she also has movies that I ADORE that most other people haven’t even heard of and certianly don’t have, at least not in one collection. Like Amelie, Jakob the Liar, and Run, Lola, Run. I just kept squealing and pointing. Plus, the first 3 pages of the book were various ‘animated’ movies like Finding Nemo, Wallace & Grommit, Chicken Run and such. ehehe.

We decided on going to the movies. Ha. The movie theatre there isn’t a movie theater. It’s an Experience. Eesh. Has an arcade and a little resteraunt and is “pimped out” as she calls it. It was insanely huge. But. We decided to go see Madagascar. Ohmygawd. It was frikkin -hilarious- We barely stopped laughing. It was really, really cute. hehe. So, we took her car. And she opened the door for me (even tho it was already unlocked *grin*) AND paid for the movie tickets even tho I insisted she didn’t have to. But she let me get drinks and such, so. LOL. And I’m not one of those people who completely refuses such things. I’ll protest but only to a point 🙂 I figure it 1. was something she wanted to do and 2. she has 2 jobs and doesn’t pay rent/utilities! lol. So. We went to the movie and both really enjoyed it.

Then we stopped by a graduation party for a kid she knows. He was graduating HS, but she knew his siblings and family and such. We said hello to some people and then went down into the creek (read: Rocks with trickle of water occasionally peeking thru) where some of AJ’s friends were. The one was trying to catch crawdads, but didn’t see any. She did catch a salamander tho. Then we followed her back up so she could show it to people. She was cute, she was like “Ok. We’re right across from the third tree…” or whatever….she wanted to make sure to put it back right where she got it. 🙂 So we hung out there for a while, then went back to her house to get ready and get the stuff to go to the picnic that her friend was having (which is why we decided on this weekend and meeting there and such, instead of in between or here or whatnot….) hehe. AJ had made fruit dip and a million apple slices AND a huge bowl of jello shots. (I s’pose they’re still called jello shots, even tho they weren’t in cup things. lol.) I changed into jeans and threw my stuff in her car (she had just bought a tent and the plan was to camp out in Jenn’s backyard, so I had my sleeping bag and such) and off we went.

The picnic was fun. It was kind of awkward at first because I didn’t know anyone, and most of the people AJ knew weren’t there yet, and of course she and I didn’t even really know each other! But then some other people showed up. And I of course still didn’t know them, they were all people that AJ and Jenn work with, so they all work together and were talking about phlebotemy stuff and working at the blood bank and I just sat and listened. But I was fine with that 🙂 eheh. I even ate. Jenn’s husband is a vegetarian, so he made me a boca burger. And I had some deviled eggs and apples and dip. Eheh. I ate more during the picnic than I think I’ve eaten in a week. :p

Then the crowd changed slightly and Jenn brought the jello out. eheh. I had never had jello shots before. Apparently, they are jello made with vodka. hehe. Interesting. But good. And I discovered a bonus to ‘drinking’ that way- ya don’t hafta pee every 10 minutes! lol. oi vey. Well, Jenn was drinking real drinks too, and just seemed to be a fun person, very friendly, so she’d come around and talk to us for a while and then go about her rounds. She was also very cute. My age! And married. Eesh. Her husband is like, 10 years older than her or something. They just married last year. They were cute. So, the people there were people from where they work at the blood bank, plus they are apparently avid runners. Like, marathons and such. He also times races…computerized timing and such. Except she has to have an operation to fix a hernia next week, so she doesn’t run currently.

Anyways. So. The picnic was nice and eventually evening came and a campfire was built and jello shots were had- AJ finally had some, she hadn’t earlier! heheh. Then we decided we should set up the tent before 1. it got dark 2. we consumed too much jello…. So we did that. With relatively little difficulty. hehe. The two younger people who AJ and I had been sitting and talking with eventually left, they both had other parties to go to. !!! Jenn has the prettiest black lab. She’s about 15 months old. Named “Mara”….short for “Marathon” hehehe. She even has a middle name 🙂 Marathon Louise. She was sweet.

Anyways. Eventually it was dark and the older people had all congregated at one of the picnic tables and I had been sitting at the table with AJ and Missy who hadn’t left yet, but she was leaving, and they were roasting marshmallows and eventually AJ and I pulled some chairs over to the fire and just sat. lol. Not saying much of anything except “Whatcha thinkin…?” 🙂 Oh! AJ had gotten them to run an extension cord from the running trailer in the side yard so she could play cd’s. And I swear, every song that came on I was just bouncing, cuz they were all ones that I loved! And most of them ones that I had on my computer or on mixed cd’s or just things like DMB. AND!! Dar Williams!!!! I nearly screamed. I was like YOU DO NOT!!!! “Do not what?!!” You do NOT have Dar Williams on this cd!!! “uhm…yeah I do!” hehehe. I was in heaven 🙂

The older people (many of whom had been pounding back some “Delaware” (wine…homemade maybe?) pretty hard!!!) left and AJ suggested we pull the bench over to the fire. It was actually a…rocking…bench..thing. hehe. So we sat and stared more at the fire. With some conversation, such as what made me email her, vice versa, etc. And then Jenn re-joined us and eventually Amanda came back to partake in the jello shots. She hadn’t earlier cuz one of the guys that was there kept making it a point to remind her that she was 20 and not allowed to have any. (Never mind the fact that she could prolly drink him under the table. OR the fact that it wasn’t even his party!! heheh. But whatever.) So she didn’t have any while he was there. But after her other part she came back and so we sat around the fire. Passing the….what did we call it? “Bowl of Goodness” or “bowl of fun” or something. lol. Cuz by then we figured that the alcohol would kill any germs that we might be sharing by scooping it out with our spoons. lol.

And the four of us just sat and ate jello and talked. Them, mostly, of course. But I wasn’t silent 🙂 Weeellllll. Eventually we were sitting there swinging and AJ had put her hand on the bench between us, so after a while I did too and we sat and held hands. (Ok, collective “awwww” on Three…. pltzzzz) I assumed Jenn and Amanda knew she was gay, but I didn’t know really what they knew about me or if they were comfortable with it or whatever. But apparently they were, cuz AJ pulled our hands up on to her leg and we sat and talked and rocked and held hands and looked at the stars. The Milky Way was so bright! Then again, I rarely have seen the Milky Way, cuz I’ve always lived too close to ambient or street or city lights or even just the damn glare of distant Wally Worlds. :op So it was lovely sitting staring thru the trees up at the sky in front of a fire with awesome music on. LOL. Amanda started telling jokes and told like, 8 lightbulb jokes in a row. I don’t think any of us even heard the last few cuz we were just laughing our asses off at how she just kept rattling them off! Then she called her ex boyfriend and asked when he was going to send her Promise Ring back to her. Got his machine. ehehe. Alcohol and cell phones. Not always a good combo.

I think Amanda left around 2am and Jenn went to bed, and AJ and I went to the tent and got ready for bed and decided it definately wasn’t, as advertised, a four person tent. maybe if it were four midgets….or very small children?? But it was big enough for the two of us, so that was the important part. So. Ok, get ready for another collective Awwww…. we eventually just fell asleep holding hands. lol. How cute. *giggolz*

We woke up about the same time in the morning, to the sounds of Jim and Jenn cleaning up, and the dog running around. And we lay and talked for a while. Mostly about the unnaturally large amount of daddy longlegs that were crawling on the tent. On the outside of the tent. hehe. Then we got up and helped clean up and took the tent down but the underside was wet, so we dragged it out into the sunny yard (they have a huge yard, and then they’ve cleared a part of the woods out, for gatherings such as these, I s’pose…so it’s nice and shady and kind of secluded, cuz they left trees and bushes and brush between the yard and the cleared out part, with various paths back to it. It was really very nice….)

Then we went up to the house and had a bagel, then Jenn left for Mass and AJ and I went back outside and pulled the bench rocker thing back where it went, which was in the shade. And sat for a bit. She asked me when I had to work, cuz I guess she didn’t get the email that said I didn’t work until -Monday- not Sunday nite as I had thought (I worked -last- sunday nite is what it was, I think), so I asked her what her plans were and she said she didn’t have any. hehehe. We watched a woodpecker and discussed how we should’ve figured that cartoons were drawn disproportionatelly when we saw that Bugs Bunny was taller than Elmer Fudd. ehehe. We checked on the tent and it was dry, so we rolled it up and packed up the car and went back to her house.

We went downstairs to her room to decide what to do (and also cuz it’s in the basement and was very cool, bordering on cold!) It is, however, about the size of my bathroom! hehe. She put some music on and we talked, the music ran out so she put more on, we talked some more. lol. We were on the bed and were just laying there talking, or laying there being silent, cuz we were both tired since we went to bed at like, 4am and got up at 9 or so, then cleaned for a while and it was shady but it was also pretty damn hot out! hehe. And I think we were both just pretty content just Be-ing. And apparently I can tell when people are staring at me, cuz I’d open my eyes and she’d be looking at me and I’d giggle and she’d be like “You do that everytime!” But she couldn’t tell when I was looking at her 🙂 Or as she said “Or maybe I can…” hehe. The conversation pretty much wound down to “What?” “nothin’….” and lots of smiling. 🙂 And I was like “Hmm. One of these times you’ll actually answer! Or maybe I’ll try reverse psychology, and NOT ask, and then you’ll tell me!!”

I’ve decided that I would be quite content just laying around playing with peoples’ fingers and hair, lol. !!! Her red hair?? Dye! Not that you can really tell tho, she’s so fair skinned that it seems like she -should- have red hair. But naturally she said it’s light brown. I like the red. 🙂 And the back is real short and sticky-out-y. Like Em’s, only way shorter. hehe.

Well. She did say she was very, very glad that I came up. I agreed. Eventually she ‘told’ me what else she’d been thinking. *smiles* And then I decided that I’d also be content just laying around playing with peoples’ fingers and hair and kissing them. *blush* I was like “hmmm. Is it a -bad- thing that we just met yesterday??” And she laughed (tho, more like me, she giggolz) and was like “Well. *I* don’t think it’s a bad thing. But if you do…” mmmm. I decided it wasn’t a bad thing. Even if it is a bad thing. :p

Way led on to way (well. No, way didn’t lead on to -that- way or anything, *rolls eyes*) and we realized it was almost 830pm and mostly dark out! Eesh. Time flies when you’re having fun. *grin* Which is funny, cuz it didn’t seem like we were downstairs for 4 hours! I also realized that I was hungry. Me! Hungry! eesh. Of course, we hadn’t eaten since probably 10am! So we tried to decide what to do for dinner. Strangely enough, neither of us was real compelled to actually get up. :p But we did eventually.

Her gram was in the kitchen and she was like “Wow, you girls finally woke up! You must not’ve gotten much sleep last nite!!” Uhm…..I just shrugged and was like “yeah, we were up late…” and kept my head stuck in the freezer getting ice until I stopped biting my lip and probably blushing. geeesh. I’m such a dork.

AJ made us grilled cheese and we had that and more of the apple slices and such from the picnic. And her gram and I talked about…uh….not sure what we were talking about, but she’s a really sweet person and funny! So I enjoyed the conversation, even if I don’t remember what it was about…

And then after we finished and put the dishes and such away I asked AJ when she had to work in the morning (830am, ewwwww) and told her I could drive home, but she was like “You don’t have to! Well. I mean. Unless you WANT to!” But I didn’t really want to 🙂 So I didn’t. Can I say tho, that twin beds are very small for 2 people?? lol. But I don’t think either of us minded cuz we were tired and I think we’re both fans of cuddling. So it all worked out.

eheh. I think we connected? 🙂 She said she really hopes that I’ll come visit again. I told her I planned on it. So. *grin* yay!

heheh. Things we discovered: I am ticklish. (no shit…) I am no good at trying to ‘lie’ (she wasn’t buying it when my answer to “whatcha thinkin…” was “nooooothing!” Matter of fact, she was like “I don’t believe you! Every time you say it you bite your lip!!” hrmph.) And. *sigh* We were laying there and she was like “Stop guarding!!!” To which I bit my lip again, but without a smile this time and she just kinda raised her eyebrows at me and waited and I was just like “uhm…yeah…remember those Issues I mentioned? I didn’t quite expect to have to explain this one so soon but…” And I just told her that I apparently have a difficult time completely relaxing when ppl are hugging me or touching me.

I dunno why, I was kinda hoping it wasn’t an all-encompassing sort of a thing. Or maybe hoping that it wasn’t totally noticable by people who weren’t aware of it. Cuz I know I can’t totally relax when J’s sitting on the couch hugging me, but generally we are/were/avoiding talking about difficult things or I’m already anxious. But I wasn’t really….anxious? Maybe I was? I dunno. But I didn’t notice if I was, until AJ said that. And I dunno. It wasn’t like she was being innapropriate or anything, or touching where she shouldn’t’ve been. lah.

Anyways. I didn’t say anything but that I wasn’t always the best at relaxing and she just kissed me on the nose and said that she understood. And then she was like “But. You know, I’d never hurt you…” Of course, my defense humour kicked in and I was like “Oh. Damn. You mean you’re not just some crazy internet psycho who’s gonna kill me and stuff me in the trunk of my car and push it into the lake???” She said that she was sorry to disappoint me but that, no, she was rather harmless. 🙂

Anyways. I have to go work for Dr F now. Even tho I don’t want to! lol. I’m so tired! I didn’t take my meds the last 2 nites and was up late/up early/didn’t sleep altogether well and plus drove home today. I just want to take a nap. Oi. I enjoy this job a lot more when I don’t have to drive up there for no reason other than to work. It’s not bad when I’m already there for class. Oh well.

I did have a lovely weekend. And as soon as I get home from work, I’m gonna try to make a mix cd for AJ, now that I know that she loves pretty much as much music as I do! 🙂