Staedtler

Therapy today.

Lots of staring at things and some chatter. But. It felt comfortable-er. I think. heh. I dunno.

Called mum while I was there and told her about skewl. *sigh* She makes me feel fucking insane. Seriously. When I think she’s gonna react positively to things, she reacts negatively. When I think she’ll be negatively, she ends up being positive and supportive. WTF…..

Apparently it IS just me then. All the communication problems. Are mine. I dunno. That’s how I feel now.

She wanted to solve things, immediately. Which. While often I do want things solved…I dunno…the way she goes about it…it’s as if I am incapable of doing it on my own? I dunno. Now I’m going to have to deal with HER trying to solve things too. *sigh*

H is prolly gonna come to therp with me on Tuesday. To…uh…I dunno why. eheh. We semi-talked about that today but then I got sidetracked by some crazyass dream I had last nite. wee.

I’ve “applied” for a few jobs, via CareerLink online. Need to stop by their office tho, for apps to some other ones I was looking at. Wee.

The problem with continuing in nsg school now is that I have about 0 confidence that I can actually do it. *sigh* Tho J’s speculation is that she doesn’t think you ran into problems in school because you’re incapable of doing it, but because your mind was trying to deal with too many other things including sex, relationships, abuse, family stuff, etc., etc. I think you were operating on 3 cylinders…

haha. “Hi Mom. I failed school cuz I was too busy thinking about sex…” pltzzzzzzzzzz. ;op *rolls eyes*

Regardless. Going back to skewl right now would be somewhat futile, since really none of the other issues have been resolved. So. UGH.

I just don’t know.

AJ wants me to write a childrens book that she can illustrate. I was chatting with Jay online a bit ago and I was like “What kind of children’s book should I write?” and his reponse was “one about kitties and forgiveness” lol. He makes me laugh.