simplicity

I keep meaning to write/send Gloria a letter. I have a card right here. I was looking online and found some neat cards specifically for birthmoms/etc. But they’re ‘spensive, so the 94 cent WallyWorld greeting will have to do. It occurs to me that p’raps I should’ve told J that this was also on my mind today, in the letter I wrote during therapy. But I guess it wasn’t on my mind at the moment. And I guess I feel really guilty for never contacting Gloria on/around Mother’s Day. *sigh*

It’s so frikking HOT here and I can’t be bothered to move everything that needs to be moved in order to get to the fans.

M’s kids were both pretty good tonite. RB was whiney, but he was also exhausted and prolly having a rough time seeing as E has been gone for so long now, and now M’s at rehearsals alot. *sigh* But DB has been being a princess for me lately, so that’s nice. eheh. I asked her (for the 5th time) after bath what she wanted for bedtime snack and she was looking at some scrap of paper or whatnot and kept not really answering and finally I was like DB. One more time. PLEASE tell me what you’d like for snack. NOW. and she started almost shouting and was like “alright, alright…” but she caught herself mid-sentence and was like “I’m sorry! Can I have cereal….” I can’t believe how grown up she is. *sigh*

I txt’d Homie again tonite. I’ve called a few times. Text msg’d her several times. I even left a card outside of her door last week. No responses. None. Yet…I keep trying. I keep letting myself be hurt by it. Why? Whatever.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I have to get up early-ish and work on Dr F’s webpage. Then go up to the other campus and spend some QT with the copier machine, then meet with Dr F. Then come home and I was going to meet with Em, but her sister will be up and while I wouldn’t mind spending time with Em, I’m not really in the mood to do a group thing. So. I have to come home and maybe clean a little (or more realistically, lay in bed.) and then go watch the kids at 7. Then I work Thursday nite. And then. I don’t work again until the 19th. It’s hard going from 4 nites a month to working like, 5 nites within 2 weeks. Although I need the money. It’s just…for some reason nite shift is taking its toll on me this month. Or something.

Hooray for poetry.

simplicity

a sheen of sweat shines her face//
molecules of salt and water invade
raised red tunnels of irritated tissue
inducing a sting oddly more piercing
than the original act which opened
inside to out// silver shines over the
sheen of sweat// rings glint in the
silverblue glow of computer lit
moonlight// soft blades caress
burlap skin which once was silken
smooth// sleep tight sweet child coos
the earth humming on its axis//
stickysaltsweat her textbooks remind
her// is merely the body’s attempt at
homeostasis// creating raised red lines
her fallible logic reminds her// is merely
the mind’s futile effort to fight fear//
to find fragile balance.
6.7.05/11.30pm