owies

Ugh. I have a headache. It’s the kind that I usually get when I’ve not taken my meds for a few days. But I -have- been taking them. So I dunno what’s up with that. But it huuuuurts. So much so that I’m gonna go back to bed after writing this. I’m hoping it’s not turning in to a migraine. No musty/moldy smell yet, so that’s good. But it hurts pretty damn bad. And I’ve no aleve right now. *sigh*

Anyways. Like I mentioned, this weekend was lovely. AJ got here around 10pm on Friday and, not surprisingly, my apt STILL wasn’t clean. *rolls eyes* But it was mostly clean, so. Apparently clean enough- she is allergic to cats but I guess only slightly and she didn’t seem to have any allergy symptoms while she was here, tho she did take some allergy meds.

Anyways, I was completely grubby when she got here, so I jumped in the shower real quick, and felt sooooo much better afterwards. Then we decided to go to Vinny’s for dinner, since it was one of the only places open after 11, except EnP and the bars. hehe. I’m always worried that people won’t like the places that I pick to go, but she apparently liked it well enough cuz she requested to go back on Sunday! Lah. It was a nice nite, so we walked to the restaurant and then, of course, walked home. We detoured by M’s house so that I could fold my laundry (or that was the plan, but it was still damp, so.) We were both exhausted, as she had had to go on her out of state trip for her job, and I had cleaned all day. Thankfully her partner had let her sleep in the van on the way home from work 🙂 So we played with the cats for a little bit and then headed back to my apt and went to bed.

Then Saturday we slept in and of course I had stupidly forgotten to buy milk and cereal the day before when I had gone to Wally World, so we went to the County Seat for breakfast/brunch. Another delicious meal. I had french toast and french fries and the waiter kept joking with me about it 🙂 Hmmm. Then what did we do…Oh, yeah, there was a car show (random!!) on Main St, but neither of us were really interested in that. But we walked up main street a bit and went to the Book Nook and I managed to restrain myself and -not- buy every book I wanted. AJ bought The Missing Piece, which is a Shel Silverstein book. 🙂 Then we went to Wally World as I had never gotten around to putting the air conditioner in, and didn’t really want to move the bed and drag it out and all that jazz. Especially since it only really cools off the one room. Seems like a waste of energy and electricity. So, we went to Wally World and I bought some fans, which I had been meaning to do anyways. As well as cheerios (honey nut, actually), and milk and macaroni & cheese, hehe. Came home and put the fans together and cuddled on the couch while we watched High Art. mmmm. Yummy movie. Actually we only made it halfway thru the movie cuz we decided that kissing was more fun. *blush* :o) We did finish the movie later tho.

Eventually we (well, *she*) made mac & cheese for dinner and, I have to admit, it was a pretty damn good bowl of mac & cheese! lol. She said she has a limited repetoire of things that she can cook, but that m&c is one of her best. 🙂 It was yummy. We watched Wallace & Grommit while we ate, cuz I had never seen it before and wanted to. It was frikkin hilarious. Hooray for penguins. And sheep. 🙂 It was late by then, so back to bed we went.

Sunday we watched more Wallace & Grommit and then got to talking about things. Pretty serious things, actually. Or rather, I should say that AJ got to talking, I just listened. *sigh* Hooray for depression and suicidality. *doublesigh* Anyways. That was pretty intense, especially for her, so I just put some music on and lay on the couch and held her and she fell asleep and I would get almost relaxed and asleep and then just startle awake again. Annoying. But I did eventually doze. We woke up and decided to go for a walk, so we went to the cemetary and sat under a tree there for a while….heh. It was funny/interesting to see different peoples’ reactions to see us walking and holding hands. Got a few double takes. It was amusing, mostly. It sprinkled a bit, which was nice.

Then we went to M’s so that I could finish my laundry, and we ended up sitting on -her- couch talking about more Serious Stuff and then decided to walk some more, even tho the rain was impending. She wanted to see the park, even tho it was all torn up cuz they’re putting in new sidewalks and such. But the one side of the gazebo was open, so we sat in there. Talked -more- for a while. heh. There’s a traffic light next to the park, and sometimes the cars would be backed up so that they were right in front of the gazebo, kind of. Again, it was amusing to see people squinting out of their windows at us. *rolls eyes* A few times I thought one of us had grown an extra appendage or another head or something, from the way people kind of stared. hehe.

Theeeeen we went to Vinny’s again and had another wonderful meal. heh. We have yet to pay seperately for any meals, but we kind of flip flop as to who pays, so I think it evens out. Not that it matters, of course. I just think it’s fun 🙂 *Especially* since we don’t argue about it or jump to grab the check as soon as it’s put on the table. *shrugs* Little, random things amuse me, apparently. Hmmm. Walked home after that and just kind of hung around and such. I got a woooooooooooooonderful back rub which put me to sleep for a little bit.

Eventually we got to the point where we had to talk about when she needed to leave. Which. I hadn’t had much of a problem leaving when I visited her. I mean, I didn’t run out the door or anything, but…it wasn’t a big deal. *sigh* Apparently (duh) I do better with leaving than with being left. No, this doesn’t come as much of a surprise. But still. I didn’t expect to react the way I did! Which was to cry for 20 minutes. Not sob or anything. Just tears. And every time they’d almost stop, I’d look her in the eyes again (blue!) and they’d just start up again.

Somehow from there we started talking about cutting and burning and suicide and. Ya know. All of that fun happy horseshit. eheh. Then she really needed to get on the road, and it was prolly 9pm by then and I had work to get to and such. So. I cried a bit more and she left. heh. We had been listening to This Desert Life by the Counting Crows for much of the day, and I really loved the cd, and so she left it for me. 🙂

Lah. And that’s about it. Work was ok last nite. I worked with Mary and she was annoyed because the Adult unit keeps “stealing” the C/A unit’s supplies. Which. Ya know. The Adult Unit has 32 patients right now- it’s at capacity. C/A only has 18 (Well, 16 at the beginning of the nite, 18 by the end) And that side can hold 22. Actually 24 if they utilize the safe rooms. And it’s not like the supplies are….I dunno. Yeah, Mary orders for the C/A side and I s’pose it’s annoying that the other unit takes stuff occasionally. But. It’s ONE hospital, ya know? It’s not like…I dunno. She’s just very territorial, which annoys me a bit sometimes.

and HA. There’s a memo out saying that the psych center is in need of a logo. What a joke. Mary said it should say “No Bed Left Unfilled” and I decided it should be a “no vacancy” sign, since the goal at the moment is to fill the place to bursting point.I mean, seriously. The DON even said that if people come to the door and there aren’t any beds and they’re a danger to themselves or others, that we are to have them sleep in the lobby til a bed is available!! WTF???? What happened to, ya know, calling the delegate, doing bed searches at other hospitals… It’s NOT like we’re the only psych unit in the tri-state area.

Grace’s theory is that because of the new policy regarding the Access insurance (uh…public healthcare? “welfare” health insurance? Paid for by the state and such…), that they’re (the head honcho people at the psych center) are trying to….”get their money’s worth” out of people before the mandate goes in to effect. Cuz the new mandate is something to the effect that people are only eligible for 30 days of IP MH care per calander year. (I mean, of course they can go over the 30 day limit as far as staying in facilities and such, but the insurance stops paying after the 30 days I guess) Which. I dunno. I mean, I know how I feel about our hospital and how it tries to keep people/fill beds and such and how I hate that, but I dunno about the mandate. Cuz. I mean. Hopefully it’ll cut back on the amt that people “abuse the system” but on the other hand, there are *certainly* people who legitimately need the extended, extensive care. And, heck. Many stays at the state hospitals can be month/many months long. And I wonder if this will change the 303 procedures/outcomes. (At least, I think it’s the 303…essentially a hearing that the dr orders when a pt wants to leave but the dr doesn’t think they’re ready but also that they’re not entirely 302’able….and I do believe the minimum LOS for 303’s is 21 days.) Not to mention, when a pt is 304’d to State, they often have to wait around for a bed to open up, which can take *weeks* So. I dunno. At least I hope it keeps the bozo’s who run the place where I work from keeping people way longer than they really need to be kept. And I never realized how much they really did that, til I started helping Grace out and had to do tx plan updates…cuz essentially you go thru the charts and see if they are meeting their goals and such…and a lot of times, they *are* but the dr still pushes back d/c dates, meaning Grace has to scramble to “find” reasons to justify the pt’s stay! It’s ludicrous.

But. I do have to say, the facility that I work for is NOT top of the line, and not all places are as fucked up as it is. So my complaints are aimed at my specific hospital, not at psych centers in general.

Eheh. Chris’ logo was something like “Forget Patient Safety, It’s All About the Money” or “Forget Patient Safety, the Higher the Census, the Better!” (heh. I don’t think that employee morale is very high there….)

Ohhh. The *other* thing they did that pissed me off was that they switched units again. Cuz one side holds more people than the other. And since the adult census was kicking pretty high, they flipped units. No doubt they’ll flip back when school starts again and the C/A census starts rising. *sigh* ilovemyjobilovemyjobilovemyjob. *rolls eyes*

Anyways. Why did I start ranting about that anyways….*shrugs*

Here’re some pics that AJ sent me this morning….

I know, not the best quality, but the lighting was not conducive to picture taking. I just like it for the fact that I’m holding random children 🙂

:o}

AJ kept snapping random pictures of me, which makes me all self-conscious and weird and stuff. But I think she was inspired by the movie 🙂 I actually kind of really like this one. So.

lah. I just ate my leftover gnocci. I think it’s time to adjourn (re-adjourn?) to bed. Wee.