ouch

got home from a long, lovely weekend with AJ. Despite weather conditions, we made it to her friends’ picnic and, after a few other friends got there, had a good time. minor misunderstandings along the way, but all was good in the end, I think.

Got home and was coming inside and managed to fall (backwards, flat on my ass, everything going everywhere) and do something painful to my foot in the meantime. It’s not swollen and I’m hoping it’s not serious. Doesn’t matter if it is, cuz it’s the top of the foot which nothing can really be done about. Just hurts a lot.

Had a call from my landlord. Apparently her husband came over this weekend and said the hallway smelled like urine and that there were a ton of flies. There were flies, but it didn’t smell. But I do have to do something with one of the cats. And I can’t decide which. And I can’t describe how much my heart hurts right now and how I just want to fucking scream. And of course, J is out of town, M is busy with her own shit, AJ doesn’t really understand the cat thing and I can’t think of any one else I really want to talk to. fuckityfuckfuckFUCK.

Pandora definately stays. It’s between the other two. Pye’s the newest. But also the smallest and most playful and sweetest, most cuddle-able.

But Journey’s been around longer and is a lovely, beautiful cat who is sweet in her own way. Tho she sheds the most, has the longest hair, and is one giant knot right now.

Pye and Pandora don’t get along. They just hiss at each other.

It’s like….having two kids and trying to decide which one you don’t want, ya know??? Which one gets to be sent away. And then. Where to send them? Neither are outdoor cats. Neither have front claws. Journey is long haired and I’m not sure she’d know how to fend for herself outside. I know Pye wouldn’t- she’s all play.

I’m hesitant to give either away to a stranger. What if they’re not treated right? Definately WILL NOT take either to the humane society. Maybe if they had a no-kill policy, but they don’t.

Then I thought I should just find somewhere for BOTH of them. But then Pandora would be so lonely, especially since I go out of town so much now.

i’m taking some ativan and going to bed. cuz on top of all else, i have to work tonite. joy.

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July 24, 2006

xoxox *~

My heart goes out to you. I can’t imagine how much you must be hurting. When do you have to make your decision?

July 25, 2006

In the immortal words of Sophie in the form of Meryl Streep: “Ich kann nicht wählen.” I’m sorry :<