Oh this is gonna get me in TROUBLE!!!!

Pot makes me happy.
And I don’t care if it’s you think it’s not real cuz it’s not ‘natural’, cuz it FEELS real in this moment and even knowing it won’t feel real in the next minute or whatever doesn’t make me less happy.
And i don’t care if it’s legal or illegal. To me it’s like hunting, only the hunter is killing brain cells. I think hunting should be illegal, you think pot should be illegal. Let’s debate.
It makes me smile and it makes the worry go whooooooosh.
And even knowing I would become totally addicted to that feeling so can’t engage in it regularly doesn’t make me unhappy. It’s life. And this is what the pot does for me. It lets me think about all my shit and not get totally stressed out over them. No, I don’t solve any of them cuz I’m too tired to do so, but I at least think about them and don’t get the urge to physically fuck myself up.
And maybe pot is just as bad as razors, then oh well. I’d rather have temporary happiness as a scar than raised flesh. That’s my choice.
Don’t judge me.
Or if you do, judge me for things I engage in on a regular basis, on things I seek out actively.
Not for being offered happiness and accepting.
And this is another reason i like it. Cuz I can say what i’m actually feeling even tho i know it might perhaps tick people off. And usually i’d erase such things or mold it so as to be non abrasive (and i don’t think i’m being abrasive here, just speaking my mind) and not say what I actually felt.
But this is MY space to do so.
Nice to have been able to tonite. I feel better for it, right now.
And haven’t I been told a million times, nothing matters except The Present. Now.
So.
*shrugs*
I’m smiling and I feel content and no longer pseudo paranoid and it’s a feeling I haven’t felt in a long, long time. It’s deep to the core and not in any way unintentionally or intentionally forced.
And it feels GOOD. It feels like how I used to feel. When I didn’t have all the money shit going on and such, years and years ago.
And see, I can write that and think about that without getting all suicidal. Yay for pot!!!
Sleepy time now 🙂