oh, poo.

Let me first say: “Girlness” sucks. :p Just cuz I only have to experience the sheer pleasure (insert sarcasm here) of it twice a year doesn’t mean that during those two times I must make up for the missed cramps, aches, and annoyances of the other 10 months. Why can’t I donate my uterus to science?

Eheh. Reminds me of a line from a song I heard Melissa Ferrick sing (a parody of Melissa Etheridge’s The Only One) That went something like “Yeah I’m a lesbian, I don’t know why God gave me ggs…”

eheh. On top of that, I am exhausted and don’t want to drive over to the other campus. This is evidenced by the fact that it’s 225 and I need to leave in 5 minutes yet I’m still sitting here in my pajamas typing away. *sigh*

I’m having this dilemma about wanting to talk about AJ at work and things. It’s quite frustrating and annoying. I wrote/babbled to J about it in a few emails yesterday and she sent me a lovely lengthy reply. But, the final thoughts on the matter were:
No right or easy answers. The goal isn’t necessarily the answer, but asking the questions and thinking about them, asking and thinking about them for you. You’re on track. Hugs, [J]

eheh. I think I probably expected as much, even tho I said she could answer with her allies hat and not her therapist hat. (But as I figured and as she stated, they’re nearly identical.) *g* So. Now I just need to ask someone who likes to be opinionated and give solicited and/or unsolicited advice. They don’t tend to think about right or easy, they just give answers!!! *grin* lah.

J did make good points in her email. But it doesn’t sway me towards any kind of final decision on the matter. I mean. Yesh, the goal isn’t necessarily the answer. But. Sometimes I just want answers!! (ha. Most of the time I just want answers. :op But most of the time I realize that things don’t always -have- answers. This however, has an answer. I just can’t find it yet.)

I think, eventually (and p’raps sooner than later) I’m just gonna take in pictures and be completely nonchalant about it, as if it were common knowledge that I was a lesbian and perfectly normal that I have a girlfriend (Well, cuz it IS normal that I have a girlfriend. But I know all of my coworkers don’t see it that way…) Maybe I was looking for J to tell me that it was a bad idea to do that. lol. Nah. I really don’t know what I was looking for.

Shit. I really do need to get dressed and on the road. It’s not like I don’t like working for Dr F (although the photocopying is getting REALLY old.) it’s just that it’s far away and I’m tired and crampy and generally not in a good mood right now. And I miss AJ. :op

To waste some extra time, I transcribed the lyrics as well as I could for that song I mentioned earlier:

I’m a Lesbian, Melissa Ferrick
Please mama can’t you see
I’ve always tried to please
I wore ribbons and jewely and makeup
and perfume and dresses down to my knees/
You said that it’s a phase,
jsut something I’d outgrow
but I got a girlfriend
and she’s got a lawn that I’d sure like to mow
Go on and wish that Brad Pitt would come along
but I prefer Madonna in a lacy thong
Cuz I’m a lesbian,
I don’t like nothing swinging ‘tween their legs
Yeah I’m a lesbian
I don’t know why God gave me eggs.
When I have sex it’s fun and clean
and no man can jump in between
no I don’t need no magic wand
I’m a lesbian.
They talk behind my back and criticize my life
but I get no complaints from Lou DIamond Philips’ wife
cuz I’m a lesbian
I’d rather be with Jane than Dick
Yeah I’m lesbian
a penis doesn’t do the trick
When we go in for 69
I know hers is the same as mine
Hide your wives cuz here I come,
I’m a lesbian
I’m a lesbian
(When does cheerleading practice start)
(Hey there cutie)