Morton Salt…Morte…Mort…..

When it rains, it absofuckinlutely pours.
Went in to work last nite. An admission was sitting there waiting for us. Only four staff on, of course. So. I do the assessment and business papers. When I come out from that, Jan, who is still there from the previous shift, informs me that Jill called. Jill’s husband just died, a few hours before, apparently. Cardiac arrest. She (Jill) did CPR on him, but he was dead before the ambulance arrived.

Sudden. Unexpected.

They’d been together since she was 14. She is….in pieces. She said she had nothing to live for. She said she hasn’t ever lived on her own, she said she doesn’t know how. One of her boys is supposed to get married next week. All night, we kept saying “Jill” by accident, when we meant someone else, a patient or whoever. We had her on our mind.

After the first admission, and learning of Jill’s husband, a walk-in showed up. So I went up and did the assessment on that, called the doctor, admitted that one too. Didn’t start my *regular* duties til about 2am. Didn’t stop working all nite. With only 10 fucking patients, and I didn’t ever get a break.

Spent 40 minutes doing a precert. on the one girl, with a very rude insurance lady. But, got four days which was amazing, so. Usually we only get a 24hr bed, with review in the morning. Tho, I’d never dealt with this insurance before, so *shrugs*.

Had to Childline the other girl, cuz the guardian told me she slapped the girl across the face. That took about a half of an hour. Even tho I had very little information for it.

We told Deb when she came in, about Jill’s husband. She and her husband and Jill and her husband and another couple always did things together. At least once a month, usually more. Deb, obviously., didn’t take the news very well. We heard her in her office just sobbing.

One of the staff for morning shift didn’t show up on the other side. So I ended up going over there and working until their staff showed up. Then I finally went home. Meant to call AJ, but called J instead. Ended up crying and wanting to throw the phone across the room. I hate being so alone.

Did call AJ after that. Miss her. Muchly.

Didn’t sleep well. Got my period after like, 7 months, and it’s making up for lost time painwise. Feels like my uterus has grown claws. And I have a headache that will not go away.

Talked to Jen for almost an hour tonite. Her sister-in-law, who we all really like, has apparently been cheating on her brother for years and years and is now filing for divorce and her brother is having a difficult time coping. She’s not even fighting for the kids, she doesn’t want the responsibility of taking care of them. Jen’s really upset. She said it all seems so unreal. Just like when her mom passed away, it didn’t seem real.

All night I kept thinking that Jill probably keeps waking up and thinking she’s just been dreaming.

Got a call from M while I was getting ready for work. E fell off of a ladder at work and shattered his knee into a million pieces. He’s already signed a lease to move, and they were going to tell the kids this weekend about the divorce.

I know it’s inappropriate, in light of Jill’s husband’s death but. Why the fuck couldn’t he have just fallen on his gawd-damn head? *sigh* No, I don’t really mean that. Just. *shrugs*

Went in to work and there were too many people scheduled. Everyone was upset about Jill’s husband, and there were several admissions. And the schedule had gotten overlooked so all 6 of us showed up. No one wanted to take off, I finally said that I would. Donna had just heard about Jill’s husband and she was crying. (Her husband died when their son was 9, of brain cancer or something.) Pam was saying “What do you say when you call someone up and ask if there’s anything you can do for them, and they say ‘bring back my husband’….” And Donna started crying again and was like “But you can’t. You just CAN’T.” We all asked if she wanted to go, cuz for a change there were 3 RN’s on, but she said no, she was staying.

I took it since my head was throbbing anyways, and I figured I could help M out if she needed anything tonite, so I stopped back over to the hospital, but she eventually decided she’d be ok. But I did come over to relieve the babysitter so that she could go home, since we dunno what tomorrow’s gonna be like yet. Dunno if E will have surgery here or be transferred to another hospital.

I want to call J, but I already talked to her today and somehow I don’t think she’s have anything different to say.

The kids are both sound asleep tho, so at least there’s that.

I wanted to borrow Crash from M, but I can’t find it now. I saw it on the 4th when I was helping to clean for the party and now I can’t find it. It’s not where I left it. *sigh*

I just want to scream.