Monologued Vaginas

Went to see the Vagina Monologues last nite with AJ. It was good. Not as great as some years past, but better than last year’s, in my opinion.

Work stuff is…meh. I was four MTP’s behind when I left on Friday, but JP came over and said she’d try to finish them up. So hopefully Gracie won’t be too behind when she gets in on Monday. And then laurie calls me at like, 1230am and asks if I’d WORK this weekend. DAYLIGHT. I was like “NO????” heh. Fucktard. I *might* have considered it if 1. AJ weren’t here and 2. It wasn’t her who called. heh. How wrong of me is that…eep. I just can’t STAND her.

I need to get a shower. Em’s recital is today. Wooo.

AJ got me all kinds of goodies for VDay. Pretty Woman 15th anniversary DVD. It has like, 3 or 4 added scenes! I was all like “new stuff new stuff!!!” hehe. And also a lil purple kitty with a funny look on it’s face. And a book with animal pictures about love that’s really cute and the snugglepup Boynton book (hehe. I love kids’ books and so does she, it works.) And…hmmm…peanut butter chocolate kisses and the Rent soundtrack and a big pack of Healing Garden LavendarTherapy lotion/spray/bathstuff. 🙂 And a single pink rose 🙂

pdoc wrote me a script for xanax extended release, since the regular stuff wacks me out so much. And of course, my insurance doesn’t cover the extended release kind. *screams* heh. So. I dunno. I guess I’ll just continue fighting off the anxiety and shite. Something. I dunno. Fuckers.

I wish, sometimes…most of the times….that I could just…Fix Things. Not even necessarily for me, tho that’d be nice. But. Just. For everyone else.

My heart hurts right now. Not in a physical way. And not in an unknown way. It’s a feeling i’m used to. But not a feeling I’ll ever get used to. If that makes sense….

Sometimes it’s a case of a patient who is just…too similar to me, in history or background or current issues. Sometimes it’s a kid who just…I dunno, who just breaks my heart. There’s a little one in right now who…I dunno. He usually just gets to me, and not in a good way. He’s usually one that I want to wap upside the head. But this time. Being Grace, I do more one to one with patients, I know more about them cuz I have to go thru their charts and everything. And he just. I dunno. He’s obviously mild MR. Defiant as all get out. And can turn on the tears in an instant. And we just. Connected this time. I dunno.

I dunno.

fuck i wish that script was covered by my insurance.