Literary and Artistic Journal.

So. The journal is FINALLY out. Em and I sat in the English Dept for what seemed like forever (but what was probably a half of an hour…) -waiting- for them, after going to the printer people and being told that they were on their way TO the english dept. *rolls eyes*

So. They do look really nice. The quality is MUCH better than last years.

I AM pissed off tho. Cuz, last year I had a “thank you” to J and M, as well as to my mum and sister. And the editor at that point cut it. Without really telling me in enough time to do anything about it. Ok. It was my first year on staff, so I was upset, but whatever.

The SAME FUCKING THING happened this year. WTF??? And yeah. Maybe I should’ve caught it in editing, but I really didn’t have much of a chance, as we spent most of the time looking over the actual poetry and shit. And, I dunno, maybe I figured that A WHOLE CHUNK OF MY DAMN BLURB wouldn’t be CUT. I could deal with spelling mistakes, punctuation errors. Whatever.

I’m just pissed off.

And I don’t like the cover. It looked ok, not wonderful, in black and white. But in colour it’s just…*shrugs* It’s not horrible. But I almost like -last- year’s cover better. And that says a lot, since I was NOT a huge fan of last year’s, at all. This year’s is so dark and kind of dreary. But. I didn’t have much of a say, so whatever.

I’m going to have to think long and hard about being on staff next year. *shrugs* I don’t really fit in with the direction it seems to be taking, which is fine. I have the option to get off the train and let it go on its merry way. I guess I’ll just have to think about it.

Overall the quality *is* far superior to last year. And there is colour art on the inside, which is nice. It’s an interesting size/shape, although a bit awkward…it’s really thick, so it doesn’t open very well. But I like the size a little better than last year.

I dunno. Anyways. Here is what my blurb SHOULD have said….

“It’s difficult to believe that a year has gone by since the previous publication of this journal. Our editing staff has grown since then, and I’d like to thank Kirwyn, Ryan, Nate and Matt for their dedication and input. Thankfully, great minds don’t always think alike and it was a wonderfully exhilarating experience to work with such a diverse staff. Special thanks to Jen for being so vigilant with words and so invested in this creation. You’ll never cease to amaze me (in literature or in life!). And of course, thank you to all who submitted their words and artwork- what an amazing array of talent! Finally, my sincerest gratitude to M, for your endless support and to J, for your eloquent editing and exquisite elephant-hunting skills.
Poetry is the way we help give name to the nameless so it can be thought. –Audrey Lorde
Hooray for words!”

[me]
—
THe part that was left out was the “Finally, my sincerest…..hunting-skills” part. Tho, the quote stayed. Would’ve made more sense to have removed the quote. But. Whatever. Like I said, no one really asked me.

I guess I just need to stop being angry for people not asking me, not remembering me.

One of J’s goals (and, somewhat one of mine, but I’m rethinking it) is for me to be “in the center of the room” more often. Not necessarily in the middle of the attention, just…I spend a lot of my life hidden in the corner, staying out of the way, not being seen. But I’ve realized this week, maybe over the last few weeks, that maybe it’s just best that I go back to that. Cuz it hurts a lot less when I banish myself to the dark than when it feels like everybody else has sent me there. *shrugs*

I’m just having a pissed off kind of a week, I guess. End of semester, as J says, is a rough time. *shrugs* I’ll deal.

There were good things today. Hanging out with Em *did* make me feel better, a little, even tho I spent much of the time whining and bitching and being an angerball. I rode in a convertable with the top down for the very first time! And I liked it, alot. And M bought me a cd player/stereo, so I no longer have to resist the urge to put my hand thru the wall every time my cd skips or stutters or stops working completely, cuz the new one shouldn’t have that problem. (Tho, I do need to take it back to wally world and exchange it, cuz one of the buttons is broken/depressed and won’t pop back up. But, that’s no big deal cuz I can just exchange it.) It’s actually better than my old one, cuz it fits on the night stand better *and* it has all of the buttons on the -top- So now when I want to adjust things at night, I won’t knock the damn thing off the table trying to reach around the sides and pushing on things. And it’s silver and black. 🙂 It matches Electra and Mercury. And it’s lighter and smaller. Maybe cuz it doesn’t have a tape deck. But I don’t need a tape deck, so it works out perfectly. Yay for M.

Another good thing is that I got to hang out with her for a little bit today, after hanging out with Em. Helped her unload groceries and then sat and held DB’s hamster while they cleaned its cage.

Oh. Some girl asked me today if I wanted a snake- a ball python. Ohmygawd how MUCH do I want to say yes????? But. 1. My cage doesn’t have a good enough top. And while I wouldn’t have to worry so much about my cats killing a snake, I DO think I’d have to worry about the snake killing a cat. 2. They eat live things. Live things that aren’t crickets or mealworms. Why it should make a difference what kind of live things I feel my animals, I don’t know. I mean. I suppose a cricket’s life is just as valuable as a mouse’s. But. But I really like mice!! 3. Live micethings probably cost a lot more than live cricketthings. Although, I don’t think that snakes need to eat as often.

haha. In my head, I’ve already said Yes. And now I’m just trying to figure out ways to talk myself -out- of it. *sigh* I’ve always wanted a snake. But they’re expensive little things. And, I like the small tiny snakes but they are often *more* expensive and have less personality. Ugh!!

OMG. How awesome would it BE to have a snake?????? *whine* I HATE decisions. Even tho it should be a non-decision. *sigh* I have such shitty ass will power when it comes to animals/pets. ARGGGGGGGH.

Anyways. Going to go to wally-world now and exchange the radio. wOOt.