homedics **edit**

RB is (nearly)sleeping upstairs, after a few [EEECHHHOOOOOOO!!!! ECHO!! EEEECHOOO!!!!!!!] shouts-outs. Nite light? Check. Water? Check. Long made up story about how his fish will eat dreams like it eats bubbles….check. eheh.

He brought up “the black man” again, which I haven’t heard in a while. (No, not racist…he also went thru a “purple boy” phase…no one is quite sure, as far as I know, where these ppl came from…) Tonite he told me he was afraid…that he “wasn’t ready for dreams yet…” because he always tried to wake up but he didn’t know how. hmm. Apparently the dream is that the black man is there with a sharp nail and RB asks him where his sister is, and he says that she’s making pancakes, and then he goes to stab RB with the sharp thing but right before it goes in to his stomach, he wakes up….Oi. I wouldn’t be ready for such a dream either. Especially not at 5 years old. I told him that I looked in the room (there’s a little hallway thing off his room, where shadows tend to flicker. heh. When I lived in that room here, I couldn’t sleep with it open cuz it freaked me out. But the door thing is gone now. Anyways. I told him I looked in there, and there was no one in there. And he was like “Actually, I know there’s no one there. He left. He went out the window. He’s like a ghost. He went right thru it….” lah. But I think he’s sleeping now. Being protected by Mr Googly the 3rd Jr who is now his “dreamcatcher” and a few of his toy soldier people things. eheh.

I want to sit and finish reading Wicked now. Even tho I should study. But I just have a little bit left. And. My brain’s not really in study-mode. It’s been a long fucking day.

*sigh* I managed to be rude and prickly to J AND to AJ. I dunno. I discovered that the skin on a certain part of my shoulder seperates rather effortlessly, apparently. Wasn’t trying to. I mean. Well. Wasn’t trying to seperate it? *shrugs* I dunno. Not bad, not like the one on my forearm. But will prolly be noticable. Which. Thus far, I had managed to keep the shoulder ones…un-noticable? Such a fucking idiot. But. Considering that I didn’t actually even clean them, so they’re still kinda…clotted and stuff, and then I walked to campus and home and such, in the warm weather. Sweat stings. And the rubbing of my bag handle and shifting of the bandaid…kept them…nicely irritated for much of the day. Still irritated, actually. It’s been awhile…

Something like that.

I wanted to sleep all day. But when I was preparing to go to bed, Em msg’d me, thanking me for praising her poetry (which is frikkin awesome…) and. I just. Wasn’t my cheerful self, apparently, cuz she was like “What’s wrong….” And invited me to lunch and things. She’s hard to say no to, she’s just so damn cute, lol. *shrugs* I dunno. I didn’t want to burden her with all the shit. She’s got enough on her plate. Everyone has enough on their plates. I need to just learn to choke mine down, like the rest of the world is capable of doing. But I accepted her invite. And J had offered to “touch base” with me. Which I initially refused. But. She was there when I called. So I stopped in. And managed to bristle at her and hide behind my walls. great fucking job, fuckwit UGH.

don’t feel like writing.

************edit***********
lah. chatted with my friend a bit ago. about the whole rape-but-not thing. And. It’s not. heh.
ummm its not really full blown sex…its like grabbing me when no one is looking…coming into my room naked…trying to tear my clothes off…putting his hands in my clothes. he tried to have sex with me twice and I told him I would stab him…lol

That makes me feel. better. ?