He’s got the whole world in his…toe.

There’s a little girl at work right now who I would gladly kidnap and raise as my own. Other than the fact that she’s adorable….she has the prettiest skin tone, and this morning she brought her basin back up to the desk and she had put her hair in two braids and it was very cute…but…I dunno. She’s got this look about her. She’s a little. But she seems so mature. So much older than her years.

She watched an apartment building burn down, which killed a friend of hers. One of the things her assessment says is that she’s been putting a fire ladder out the window and climbing up and down it, 2 stories above concrete.

uh…yeah. That seems like a perfectly NORMAL frigging response to having witnessed a fucking building burn down. I think I’d be compelled to do much the same.

This morning she came out to the desk- usually the littles get ready and then they’re to sit in the tv room and watch disney or nickelodeon, unless they’re on Step 1 or 1:1 observation or whatnot. But right now there are only four littles, 3 boys and 1 girl. And 2 of the boys are…not nice. And yesterday the one was being very sexually inappropriate to her. Not to mention the fact that I don’t mind when a kid stands at the desk and chatters, so long as they’re not just being a brat. And she definately wasn’t being a brat. She came out and was like Did you know that our galaxy isn’t the -only- galaxy?? There’s a whole bunch more!! And did you know, some of them are spiral shape and some are just shaped weird, and some are round with circles of light in the middle! And did you know that there are stars out there bigger than our sun?! And did you know that it takes the sun 8 minutes to travel by the light of speed (*grin* She meant speed of light)? And she was so animated. Which made me smile, because every other time I’ve seen her, she’s just looked so completely depressed.

Anyways, then she was like…Do you think there are other people in those other galaxies? I mean. God created all those galaxies, and he is a creator….and you know what my mom said? She said she thought it would be funny if when we go to heaven, we found out that god was really a dog, cuz that’s god spelled backwards! And…the reason I was thinking of this is cuz I was thinking of that song this morning, ya know, “He’s got the whole world in his hands…” and what if there are other people or creatures out there who sing “he’s got the whole world in his…fingers…or in his toes…or in his foot!”

And then the phone rang and she stopped talking while I answered it, and then she was quiet for a minute or two and then she said But…sometimes it scary., referring to the fact that there were so many other galaxies and possibilities.

I so much just wanted to hug her and pull her off in to a corner and let her tell me all of the other little facts and tidbits of information that she knew.

She’s not lost yet, ya know? She’s still…there. She can still make it. I want her to. Not that I don’t want other kids to make it as well. It’s just some of them….they’ve turned mean and cruel. And this little girl’s chart says that she’s being defiant and destructive at home (Her mom left her alone for a day or a weekend, and when she came back, reported that the house was “trashed.” For fuck’s sake. The kids not even in her TEENS.) But, she’s so pleasant and sweet and soft spoken and polite. And she looks at you when she speaks and she thinks about what you say. And she works on her treatment, and she takes it seriously, not like so many of those kids who think it’s all a joke, it’s all a game. Even Grace said…cuz I asked her this morning, even tho it’s technically none of my business, but I was nosey anyways because I wanted to know…even Grace said that she’s a good kid, and that she personally spoke up on her behalf to get her back into our Partial program.

It’s just so hard. Knowing that these kids live down the road, but that I can’t just go to their house and be like “hey. Let’s go hang out.” ya know?

No, I don’t think I can save the world. But. I think I could make a difference in a kids life. Especially someone like this girl. Who I think reminds me of me.

It makes me want to quit my job (heh. Yeah, a million things make me want to quit that job, I know.) But…it just…it’s so hard to leave there, and leave her there. And not know if she’ll be there when I go back. Not know how her treatment goes, how she makes out in the end.

In other news….Karen McDidiot took a record breaking FOUR hours to complete ONE admission. There was nothing especially unique about the admission. No huge complications or detailed histories going on. She’s just slower than molasses in january. *rolls eyes*

*sigh* That little girl tho. Yeah, I guess you could say I’m attached, even tho I’ve spent all of 7 minutes with the kid. And I guess, by saying that I really want to help *her* that I’m playing favourites. But. So be it. And I don’t know why some of these kids get to me more than others. This one tho. I just…as soon as I looked at her picture and saw that *look* in her eyes….Something in her soul caught hold of mine.