Fossil Fuel

I feel very much like crap right now.

I don’t mean that literally at the moment, tho that could change given the fact that I’m eating a tub of Ben & Jerry’s Fossil Fuel ice cream by myself.

Therapy today. eh. Didn’t go so well.

I never know what I want. I hate when she asks me. Makes me feel stupid, like I’m failing. I have all week to think of what I want from our time together, and yet when the time comes, I have no words.

She gave me some cd’s by a guy name Joe Brown (?) No. Joseph Marshall. Listening (sort of) to one now. Soothing sound. Need to actually *hear* it, but will do that later.

Right now I’m gonna go over to M’s and curl up on her couch and read and try to feel better.

To Read Others.

October 10, 2006

i never knew what to say in therapy. which is why i think i quit, ultimately. what i started doing was carrying around a little tiny notebook and just jotted (sp>!) sh*t down when i thought about it. it usually happened in transit to somewhere…on buses…walking to class…and then at least i’d have a tiny bit of something to say “this came up in my head on X day…etc.” i wouldn’t say “X day etc.”, although i think if i *did* they might have recommended MORE therapy. HA! i wish i was eating ice cream. xoxo *~

ryn: http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=D547488&entry=10343 🙂

I hope you do feel better soon. If it’s any comfort, I’m not sure that I’ve *ever* really known what I wanted.

ryujin

October 11, 2006

i’m sorry therapy didn’t go well