:( **edit**

I might not be Growlie’s TSS anymore, as of tomorrow. They’ll let me know during the day. I will have a hard time not crying if they move me.

If they do move me, it will be to an autistic first grader.

Whatever will be, will be and I’m sure I’ll adore the new kid if I get him, but I will miss working with Growlie, and being in that classroom. The teacher is simply phenomenal. *sigh*

Oh well.

Time for the Grey’s Anatomy premiere!

****edit****

Ok. Grey’s was great (particularly the last 15 minutes or so.)

Now. The job stuff.

I actually called L tonite, since I was off yesterday and she had been in doing her BSC hours with Growlie for the afternoon. So I called her work cell and left a msg, just to see how he had behaved for her and such. She called back after a bit and said she was glad I called cuz she wanted to talk to me and not just spring things on me tomorrow.

Well, at first, I thought she was just talking about the annoying co-worker TSS who works in the same classroom- I found out today that tomorrow is *her* last day with her client, and they are moving her to a different school. Yay!!! All day she was like “I just can’t help feeling like it’s a punishment…” *rolls eyes* Of course I was nice and diplomatic and all like “no, no. they’re moving several people around. ya know, best fit for the kids and stuff…”

Well. Turns out, I’m also one of the ones that might be moving around!!! Not as a punishment tho, kind of the opposite, L said. In part because Growlie’s hours are decreasing and I guess TB is concerned that I’ll leave the agency if I’m not full time. Which I won’t. And I told L that tonite. I *really* like the agency so far, and I really, really enjoy the classroom that I’m in.

Well. Anyways. It’s also in part because “The Gorilla”, as L called him, has a mtg tomorrow to see about his hours and his situation- whether they’re going to keep him in regular ed, or put him in support. I think his parents want to keep him in regular ed, cuz he’s a twin and his bro is in the same classroom. His dx is autism and I guess he’s just not handling the chaos of the regular classroom very well. His last TSS was new to TSS’ing and didn’t feel she could handle him, I think. But L says he does really well 1:1. She thinks, if I end up with him, that I’ll adore him. I guess he’s very tactile- loves to sit in her lap when she reads to him, likes his arm and back rubbed, all that stuff.

And I believe her- I don’t think she’d sugar-coat to me (well, to anyone, really, but def not to me). So I’m sure the switch would be ok, after a bit.

But I REALLY don’t want to leave Growlie OR the classroom I’m in. If I haven’t said it a million times yet– the teacher is phenomenal. There have been some really hairy situations in the classroom and I’ve yet to see her lose her cool. And it’s only her second year in this setting! She’s used to be an airline stewardess!! But not only is she calm and level headed, she also has a really great way with the kids. I mean, some teachers do and some don’t. Especially with the emotional support kids. But she is just awesome. She doesn’t treat them all equal er…well, I mean, insofar as equality– she’s fair to all of them but…she takes in to account their current mood and she realizes that not all of them have the same reactions to the same things and…ugh. I’m not communicating what I mean very eloquently. But. Essentially, she’s the overseer of 5 little sparking time bombs and she spends all day trying to fit some education in around putting out flames. I guess what she is is nice, but not lenient in the bad way that spells disaster for ES kids?! She has rules and she sticks to them. Granted, she’s not perfect- the days aren’t as structured as they could be and the kids end up with maybe more hang time than they should sometimes. But on the other hand, with most of them it’s all we can do to get them to do the minimal amt of work she has on any given day. And, as the days go by, she does keep adding stuff.

Also, the ONLY reason I’m willing to switch (or that L is willing to ‘allow’ the switch to even be an OPTION) is cuz the TSS that would be replacing me is one that Growlie has had before -and- also one who has worked in the classroom before, with a different kid since Growlie hasn’t been there before this year. So it’s not like he’ll be getting a brand new TSS. And if the switch does, in fact, take place, I’m going to present it to him in that frame….”Your old TSS wanted to come work with you again, so the boss decided to let him…” sort of way.

Ugh. I really don’t want to leave. I’m getting teary just writing about it. L’s going to call me in the classroom tomorrow as soon as she knows anything, and I’m afraid I’m gonna start bawling. 🙁 eesh.

But. I *do* think it’s a bad idea to switch TSS like this– Hey, guess what, this is it, you’ll have a new worker on Monday. Have a great weekend….
Especially for a kid who has severe attachment issues to begin with.

Oh well. I have little to no control over the situation. (Well. I suppose I DO have control over it- I could say “I’m staying with Growlie or I’ll quit!!” but I trust L, and if she’s ok with it, I’ll deal.) At least my BSC (L) doesn’t change. Cuz that *might* be cause for me to say “uhmmmmm…NO.” heh.

Lah. Tomorrow nite I’m actually going to the bar. L’s husband is going to be playing some jazz music during happy hour, so I’m gonna go and keep her company and she said she’d buy me a drink. So I need to decide if I actually want to drink, or I should stick to non-alcoholic stuff. I know I kind of “gave up” drinking. In part cuz it really didn’t mix with my meds- but I’m not sure if it was the effexor or the seroquel it wasn’t mixing well with. And I haven’t been taking the seroquel cuz I was off it for a while and when I tried to go back on, it totally zonked me out and I was seriously not able to get up and make it to work on time. And I had taken it at like, 9pm! So I’ve taken it a few times on weekends since I started the new job, but not recently. I wish I could, tho, cuz of course I also haven’t been sleeping. heh.

Oh well. I guess that’s all for now. lah.