doenges

Therapy this week was…difficult? I dunno. Mentally, I’m a huge fucking mess.
I started crying and just. Dunno. Couldn’t even keep it contained to just tears. So by the time I left to go to Supervision my nose was all clogged and I felt like I’d…been crying. heh. My homework is to have three tx goals for next week.

Went to the dance concert tonite. M’s dance was…difficult to watch. I mean, it’s choreographed wonderfully. But the combination of the music and the background that I know…wow. It’s set to Joni Mitchell, one of my favourite songs too. So right off it catches me. And then just watching move in space and wondering about what is fiction and what is not (in a way?)…or rather…if the things taking place are refrains of things that’ve taken place….She amazes me, as usual.

Going back tomorrow nite. With M and DB. And 6 or 7 of DB’s little friends. She’ll be 10 tomorrow. 10. Ten.

But still as sweet as the tiny toddler I first met 6 years ago. 7 years ago? Oi. Seven years ago. Like today, we were sitting on the couch and she was watching Take Home the Cook or something, and I was on my laptop and we were chatting and she was talking about her report card- all A’s- and she was saying how when she got it she tried to make her face blank because she didn’t want to be all smiley and excited because she knew some kids didn’t do as well and she didn’t want to make them feel bad.

I’m just so used to egocentric kids…I mean, it’s normal for kids to be egocentric. And the kids I work with at the psych center are for the most part VERY egocentric or else so lost in themselves that they come off as such. And then there’s this 9 year old kid, so sensitive of others’ reactions and feelings. heh. Sometimes I wish I knew more *adults* like her.

Of course, she certainly has her moments/days of ‘bratty little girl’. But even at her brattiest she’s still an amazing kid. lah.