Coasting Rollers

wee. Sitting in the library. Ah, the joys of wireless internet and laptop computers. It’s Day of Silence, so no speako todayo. Until 5pm, at least. Then we’ll all gather (heh, all like, 5 of us?) around the clocktower and scream. And then I’ll come back to the table, where I’ve been aaaall day, to take it down and move it to the chapel, in preparation for our panel tonite. We won’t have any mics, which hopefully won’t be a problem :o( I wasn’t thinking we’d need them, but then the rest of the group said Yes, we should have them. But it’s too late now. *sigh* Luckily it’s a relatively smallish space, so all should be well.

It’s interesting to watch people wander by the table, which has a rainbow flag on it, a million pamphlets and brochures, and a 3 foot trifold presentation board with pictures and facts about transgender stuff. There’s also candy. So people wander over to take candy without looking at the information. Other people purposely avoid looking at it. A few people have stopped, so that’s fun.

I hope tonite goes well.

Yesterday was kind of a crappy day. I mean. Not horrible, but. *shrugs* I was just in a foul, foul mood. So therapy was a struggle, cuz I just wanted to be ornery and obstinate but I also didn’t want to be a brat. le’sigh. Actually, J met me after my poetry class and we walked to her office. And it was a beautiful day and I should’ve been far more pleasant than I was being. ugh. But. Whatever.

After therapy I went home and cleaned a tiny bit more and was going to study and such, but then…hmm…what happened then…Oh, then I chatted some with Jen and Buss and discovered that I could go to the showing of Boys Don’t Cry that I had thought I wouldn’t be able to attend because of clinical. But since I don’t have clinical this week, I could go. So, I was excited about that. And then Homie called and asked if I wanted to go grab a bite to eat with her.

Well, I can’t say no to her! Nor did I want to. So she picked me up and when she did so she was on the phone with her dickhead father which ended with her in tears and hanging up on him. Then her mother called back and was saying something about being disrespectful. *rolls eyes*

See, Homie got some awesome mail and had called home to tell them about it. And instead of them being happy and excited for her, they were all like…negative and stuff. Grrr.

Anyways. So we went to EnP and chatted and she was all like “So, how are YOU! Let’s talk about YOU!” which made me laugh because J and I had been talking about that in therapy, how with her I am sometimes(often) in the middle of the room. So. That made me smile. And her news made me smile even more! I was so excited I did the sitting-happy-dance which consisted of much foot stomping. *grin*

We also talked about ED things and such. I think it went well because when I asked if she wanted to leave, she asked if we could just stay a little longer. And then she came to my house to get some of the poetry I’m considering entering for the Chautauqua festival thing. Then she left and I contemplated whether or not to go to the movie, since it was already 730 and they started at 7. But I went. I’m glad I did. Wow, what a movie. Eef.

While I was there, Homie called and I thought something might be wrong so I answered, outside. And she was all like….outpouring about how wonderful my writing was. *blush* I was really touched.

I should be studying. Ugh. I’m not as terrified about this exam as I was about the last one, but still. I need to do really well.

The weather is beautiful today, if not a bit chilly. Fun.

A song…..

(that I’ve prolly posted before)

Oh, Johnny wishes he was famous
spends his time alone in the basement
with lenin and cobain and
a guitar and his stereo
And while he wishes he could escape this
but it all seems so contagious
not to be yourself and faceless
in a song that has no soul

i remember feeling low
i remember losing hope
and i remember all the feelings
and the day they stopped
we are we are we are all innocent
we are we are
we are we are we are all innocent
we are we are

Oh I dreamed of losing faith and what she knows
and to music hates all of her clothes
thinks of surgery and a new nose
every calorie’s a war
she wishes she were a dancer
and that she’d never heard of cancer
she wishes that god would give her some answers
and make her feel beautiful

i remember feeling low
i remember losing hope
and i remember all the feelings
and the day they stopped
we are we are we are all innocent
we are we are
we are we are we are all innocent
we are we are

One day you’ll hafta let it go
you’ll hafta let it go
one day you’ll stand up on your own
stand up on your own.
remember losing hope
remember feeling low
remember all the feelings
and the day they stopped

we are we are all innocent
we are all innocent
we are we are
we are we are all innocent
we are all innocent
we are we are

we are we are all innocent
we are all innocent
we are we are
we are we are all innocent
we are all innocent
we are we are….
-our lady peace-