Churn, churn, churn

Ugh. I ate too much sugar-stuff at EnP on Sunday night, and my stomach paid for it today. Bleurgh.

Thankfully, that’s not the only thing that was churning. I managed to essentially catch up with all the poetry work that needed to be turned in for the last few weeks (not so much on the stuff that we just had to put in our notebooks. Eek…)

And after class this morning, before coming back to Main campus for an Allies panel, I sat in the library and read the required articles for our Independant Study Clinical Packet. So I finished 2 of the 5 assignments. Now I just have to watch a half hour video about vaccinations and read a chapter about sickle-cell anemia and figure out how to do pediatric calculations. I have a sneaking suspician that the rest of the class learned how to do them in class last semester. hmm… Oh well, I have til next week to turn them in. And I might get an extension on that, since I also have a Pharm test and Liz said if we needed an extension because of exams or whatnot to just tell her. So. Good, that.

Animal tanks still need to be cleaned. *sigh*

Anyhow. After the library stuff, I came back here and sat in on a panel for Allies. It was actually for one of J’s classes, so that was interesting 🙂 Makes me half-wish I weren’t her client, so I could (ethically) take her classes! But I think in the long run, I’ll benefit more from therapist!J than from professor!J. The panel went really well. We were with another group who does panels (mostly about racial stuff, I think?) but I feel like we all had equal say, and the class actually participated, so that was a good thing too. Some classes just sit there and blink at you, or txt msg on their phones or stare menacingly over your shoulders. I knew a few people in this class, and there were 5 other members of Allies there, tho only 2 of us said much. Well, I guess 4 of us said stuff. And two just observed. One tho, was just going to sit in anyways, cuz he’d never done a panel before, and Donnie is always quiet on panels, cuz he’s only done a few as well.

After the panel Crys, who was in that class, and I sat and talked for 10 minutes and then walked down to the book store for her to get an APA manual, and then to the food court so we could get dinner. (Shouldn’t’ve gotten the ravioli. Ugh. Pasta sauce and grease. Churn churn churn. Hey, isn’t that a song? ;o)

I listened to all of her trials and tribulations and such and realized as I was listening that, while I enjoyed listening, I do tend to internalize a lot of other peoples’ stuff. Ok, ok. So this isn’t news to anyone, not even me. But usually I am not aware of it. This time I was. Maybe just cuz I was a little raw or sensitive about things that had occured earlier in the day. I dunno.

Well, I drove her home and then came back to my apt and revised the poetry that I’ve been working on, with help from J (yay for instant email!) and I took my meds already, at around 915 actually, the zyprexa included. So *hopefully* I don’t sleep thru my alarm in the morning, cuz I start my new job with Dr F at 11am. I’ll be so mortified if I’m late/absent. Ugh. Hopefully I should fall right to sleep, since sleep last nite was quite scattered and restless. Tho, I have to say, I’ve been remembering my dreams as of late, and I even wrote one or two of them down cuz my journal happened to be right by my bed. They weren’t excessively interesting. Lah.

Anyways. Here is my latest verbal churn that I’m going to use for our Roundtable discussion.

Bored

Menthol sears my lungs as I try to breathe
around your words, hotter than the cherry
of your cigarette. Ash sighs to the red checker
tablecloth. I smoosh it with my pinky,
drawing lazy curly-cues diagonally
across the blocks (white only) while you
continue the current tirade.

Your words drift towards the nicotine-stained ceiling
along the lazy trail of smoke emanating from your nostrils.
I lose interest in my soot hieroglyphics and in the tarry words
spewing callously around the yellowed filter between your lips.
My focus is on your forehead, watching the creases jump up and down,
excited by the bumping of your eyebrows and the fire flashing
in your tawny eyes.

I poke the ice-cubes in my liquidless glass with a chewed up straw,
trying to synchronize their plinking with your profanities.
I wonder how long it took for you to learn how to speak with those sticks
hanging so precariously from your mouth, how many times they’ve grown
bored of your maw and simply kamikazied their way to the ground,
preferring to be snubbed out rather than spend another second
soaking in your saliva.
———-

I know. It just kind of…ends. Putz’ out. I hadn’t the energy for 7 more lines! Since my writing is lacking in creativity lately, I think I’ve been focusing more on form. I get irritated when I can’t fit it into the form I want, and I get adament about not straying from a form once I’ve chosen it. Stubborn. Eheh. An editor’s nightmare. *nods*

Ok. Bed time. Perchance to sleep. (please, please, PLEASE let me sleep..)