Because I can.

Because I can. (at least til the meds kick in…)

What does your online diary name mean, and why did you pick it?
Well, the name of my diary is called “Quidam” which is from a Cirque d’Soleil show. Quidam is “a nameless passer-by, a solitary figure lingering on a street corner, a person rushing past. One who cries out, sings and dreams within us all.”
My name as a diarist is “Echo” which…means….an echo. And I suppose I picked it cuz often (not as much now, but majorly before) I would quote song lyrics or whatnot…and even in IM conversations and mIRC conversations, I was apt to break into lyrics rather than type my own mind. And one of my favourite lines goes something like “how can you believe anything that doesn’t come from you or someone else”
*shrugs* Echo seemed fitting.

When did you first get an online diary?
hmm. I started here in February of 2000. I think I had started one at Diaryland (also known as dairy land, lol) a few months before that, but switched to here.

Why did you first start an online diary?
Well, to quote from my early, early FOD (before it was even FOD) entry:
I do not know why I am choosing to keep an online diary. Probably because I have a need to write and a need for people to read what I write. But it can’t be a situation in which anyone feels obligated to read what I write. Not that I have anything terribly interesting to say. I’m quite mundane, really. I would write, and I do write, even when I know no one is reading. I jabber consistently. I do not think in any sort of a linear fashion. I tend to go off on tangents and change the subject randomly and without any notice. I sometimes find myself hard to follow, and I can only wonder at how anyone manages to follow my train of thought. Or if they even bother.
I’m frustrating and clingy. I’m frustrated and lonely. I write to live. I need music to survive.
I am me but I do not know who Me is.
I write in efforts to discover who me is.

How did you find OpenDiary.com?
Uhm. Not sure, it was a long time ago!

When writing an entry, do you believe you are writing for you or the reader?
To quote that old FOD again: I always wonder how to start such things as these. Do I write “Dear Diary…” or do I pretend I’m writing a letter to an intimate friend? Or do I internalize the fact that hundreds of people might chance upon these very words? (heh. They’ll leave quick, I assure you) It is not the hundreds I think about. It is the two or three who cause me to pause.
Do I write knowing full well that some might recognize themselves in these words? Or do I write, uncensored by even myself, reasoning that that is what my mind needs to do? I should probably attempt a happy-medium, so to speak. But don’t count on it. My life is one continual non-gray grey area.
By which I mean…extremes. But…none of my extremes are extremes when compared to someone elses. Therefore, they are grey as well. Sort of like…in the middle on the outside. Whatever.
Tho, nowadays I am far more conscious of what I write, cuz of who reads. Which at times puts me in a quandry…I used to not censor, I used to just write whatever was on my mind, cuz the only “real” people who read were Dove, who was hours away, and sometimes J, who I readily shared entries with anyways. Then M started reading and I found myself censoring once or twice, which got to me. So I started writing a few fav only entries. Maybe one or two private entries. Tho even the private entries still usually get sent to J. Not surprising, since writing is therapy to me. heh. Now I find myself censoring more and more and I’m not sure what to do about it. Some suggest writing faves only entries, but I dunno. I’m not really one to write many of those, just cuz. So it’s resulted in me writing less, which irks me. Oh well. I’ll figure it out some day.

When writing an entry, are you completely honest?
See previous question! ME mentioned her friend mentioning omission, so I agree with her that no, I’m not, cuz I omit at times. And of course names are always changed. Which, like ME, I take very seriously. I’m always conscious of not writing about where I live or anything. I’ve never had bad experiences as far as that goes, but I don’t need to chance it either!

Describe your writing setting:
My oft-cluttered desk, surrounded by pics of friends and well as pics/signed pics of singers. A newly added fishtank. Usually a cat at my feet or behind me in the chair.

Is anyone that you know (in real life) allowed to read your diary?
A handful. J, M, Dove tho I’m not sure if she counts as “irl” or not? E. AJ.

Do you know anyone in real life with a diary, which you are allowed to read?
Just M, actually. (And Dove)Tho most of my friends have blogs at LiveJournal or MySpace. Which I also have, of course. But I don’t use them as “diaries.” They’re more just for purposely keeping people informed.

Do you believe writing in your online diary is therapeutic?
Of course!

How many entries do you have?
1673 total.

Do you have any entries that are private?
yup. 18 of them.

If you answered yes to that (without getting too personal), why don’t you want people to see them?
Some are simply there for “storage” reasons. Some are started but not finished surveys/lyrics/entries etc. Some are there cuz I didn’t want anyone to be hurt by anything I might’ve said. The ones that aren’t there for “non private” reasons are probably there because they were spat out in a fit of horrible anger/blinding emotion, and are unfit for anyone else to read. Tho I’d guesstimate that J’s read probably 99% of them.

How many favorites do you have?
21. But one is me and one is the DM, so I don’t think those two count. So 19. I try to keep the list trimmed down, otherwise I get overwhelmed and start feeling guilty if I read some and not the others. heh.

Do you know who your first favorite was?
Uhm….not sure??

Have you ever written an entry while too intoxicated?
Yes, oi vey. Not necessarily under the influence of alcohol. And I always promise myself I’ll never do it again.

Do you feel accepted by the diary community?
sure, else I wouldn’t probably stay.

Have you secretly fallen in love with (or had a crush on) a diarist?
Not sure if I was secret about it, lol!

Have you ever read an entry that really moved you? What was it about?
of course. Most everyone on my faves list has written an entry that has moved me, either to tears or uncontrollable laughter. A sense of total empathy or sympathy. Or just plain…moving. That’s why they’re there in my faves.

Has anyone written an entry that made you cry?
See above, yes.

What are your favorite kinds of entries to read?
Depends on the mood. Tho I hafta say, I do secretly wait with bated (baited??) breath for Dan & Firebabe to rejoin forces again again, cuz they make me nearly pee my pants every time. As does SBP.

After writing an entry, how long do you wait to see if you have notes?
*shrugs* Depends on what time of day I’m writing! Yes, I’ve been known to compulsively check for notes. heh.

If you don’t have notes, do you feel let down?
Depends on what kind of entry I’ve written. Since I try to mostly write for me and not “to” anyone, lack of notes isn’t too bothersome. Except when no one notes me for several entries. Then I wonder if I’ve been wiped off the faves lists!

How many notes do you usually get?
Maybe 5 or 6

Did you know the more notes you leave, the more notes you get?
I suppose so

Do you delete mean or nasty notes?
Haven’t gotten one in a very long time. I’m too OCD and pack-rattish to delete, usually. Unless it’s really vile or offensive to others.

Have you ever left a nasty note and not signed your name?
No, I always sign. Well. That’s not true, I don’t always sign. But I don’t leave nasty notes without signing.

Have you ever left a note on a person’s diary just to make them feel better?
Of course!

Do you keep a paper copy of your online diary?
I wish I could! I do keep copies of it on disc tho.

Do you go back and re-read your past entries?
Yes. Occasionally I’ll go to my calendar and go to the same date of previous years to see what was going on and such.

What’s the most interesting thing you can think of about OpenDiary?
I’m often surprised at how shocked ppl are when Drama ensues. I mean. They say “how could someone DO something like ____” (pretend to be someone else completely…etc) And I’m thinking…well, ppl do it all of the time IRL, so why not here? I mean, originally, I was a totally different person on here than I was in real life, just cuz I would let myself express so much more to an “annonymous” audience than I’d ever show to ppl standing in front of me. So it doesn’t surprise me when people turn out to be “fakes”, and it never leaves me wondering “why?!!” cuz I can pretty much figure out exactly Why. I mean. I’m not necessarily “condoning” it. But it doesn’t surprise me.

I dunno.

Meds. ugh.

———-
Doh. I musta saved that as a private entry last nite. Meds kicked in, lol.