Anniversaries….

I just realized that I’ve had my car for a year now, almost exactly.

Scary.

I don’t think I’ve spent so much money on one thing in a year ever in my life. :op

It explains why they suddently sent me more little loan payoff slips. I thought maybe I had forgotten to pay this month’s payment, even tho I knew I did it this weekend. (I do it online, so never use the little slip things they send me…) But now I realize it’s just cuz the old slips would’ve prolly run out if I had been using them.

Eheh. Diana- the psych dept secretary-lady just came up and chatted with me for a little bit. Among the other things she mentioned was my behaviour around JamesTheAsshole. See, when I go into the psych dept office, he is usually there, as he is the work study student. I generally ignore him. Well. Not generally. I plain out, rudely ignore him. So Diana was talking about it and said that he said if I do it again, he might just flip me off. hehe. Not that I’d notice. I figure giving him no look is better than giving him dirty looks.

My insides hurt when I think of Homie being with him for an extended period of time. Blech. She BETTER decide to go to school and not just follow his sorry ass to wherever he’s going.

So. My…girlness…is back with a vengeance. And of course today in nursing class (THE LAST CLASS OF THE SEMESTER!!!!!) we were discussing women’s health, and the disorders therein. Including things like dysmenorrhea (painful menstrual cycles) and amenorrhea (absence of cycles) and stuff. And Ginny was going on about the importance of getting such things checked out and all that jazz. blech. But. I don’t hurt anymore, much, so that’s good. Can’t be too serious. :o) hehe.

Weee. I get the kids tomorrow. It’ll be nice to spend some time with them. And it’s funny cuz I was driving along today thinking it’d be really nice to hang out with the doodlebug. And. Well, I guess since RB was born, I just connected more with him, cuz I’ve been there since before him, and while DB is loving and such, she’s also….detached is not the right word. But she’s just older and definately prefers her mother’s cuddles. Whereas while RB I’m sure prefer’s M’s over mine, he’s still quick to throw himself on top of me when the feeling strikes. Reserved is perhaps the word for DB. She’s more reserved. So sometimes I feel it’s more difficult to connect with her. And, too, she’s -such- a people pleaser and I don’t ever want her to feel like she has to be that way with me, ya know? Like…she’s apt to say Yes to things even if she doesn’t want to do them, if she thinks that *I* want her to do them.

She’s a good kid by nature. One of the best I’ve ever met. Well, probably the best I’ve ever met, but I think I’ll be relieved when she defies me one day, just so she knows she CAN! lol. I think she is having a bit of a defiant period with M, but it disappears when she’s with me. Which is the general way it goes, with every kid I’ve ever babysat. They’re always ‘better’ behaved and more apt to listen to me than to their parents. Mostly cuz they know just what they can get away with with parents.

Anyways. The boy has tball on Friday and Saturday. But it’s s’posed to rain, so I’m not sure what will happen with that. And Diana finally got back to me about the psych dept picnic, which doesn’t start til 430 or 5 on Friday. J encouraged me to just bring the kids. We’ll see. I’ll hafta ask M, and of course see what kind of temperments they are in by that time. Tho they don’t have school, so they might enjoy doing something like that. Dunno.

ALLIES meeting in a few minutes.

I showed J my portfolio and she seemed to like it. She said she liked how it kind of illustrated my more-than-one-dimension-ness, because I often present myself in just one way or the other, but the pieces I picked for the final portfolio are pretty diverse in subject and style. But, they’re “all me” she thought. So. 🙂 It’s funny cuz as I was driving home today I was thinking (wow, I do a lot of thinking on my commutes, apparently…) of possible names, and one of the ones I came up with was “Mercurial.me” cuz I had been thinking in sort of the same lines as her. When I was putting it all together last nite, I was realizing how there were kind of two distinct moods going on with the pieces. So.

Now I just have to design a cover. Eep. I can’t figure out what to do for a cover. If I want a picture or just some abstract colours or what. And I need to get my one piece to format correctly so I can add it. Worse comes to worse, I can just make it go regular on the paper, or with the paper going the regular way, instead of how the rest of the pieces are, with the paper going…longways? So it’s a rectangle with the top and bottom being the long sides and the sides being the short sides. Except for the quilt poem which has to go the regular way cuz cutting it in half would ruin its effect.

So. I went to see Dr T today, to discuss my poetry with him- a few pieces anyways. And basically he was like “Uh. yeah, I have no idea why I wrote that or what I meant. That’s a damn good poem.” *rolls eyes* He’s such a scatter brain.

And he talked to me about a piece that is causing a lot of controversy with the literary art magazine (which is why the frigging thing hasn’t been published yet *GRRRR*). It’s about the Virgin Mary and….well, uses words like cunt, cock, masturbate…any shock word you can think of, it’s in there. I didn’t like the poem to begin with, because a. it deals with god-stuff–eww. and b. it deals with sexstuff — doubleewwww. But, I was outvoted in the picking process, so it made it into the journal. Now there’s a big stink over it and the art guy has pulled his name from the project and etc etc etc.

Quite annoying. I am not a fan of controversy, and I have a hard time fighting this fight since I don’t like the piece anyways. But, I also don’t like that we’re being forced to censure somewhat. (Tho, in the end, I don’t think we are, I think it will be printed anyways…)

Kinda like same-sex marriage. I don’t really believe in marriage of any kind, and so when people ask my opinion I’m always kind of torn. YES, I think same-sex couples should have the same rights as hetero couples. But. *shrugs* Jay says that if same-sex couples were allowed the same right, just with a different name (like Union instead of Marriage) that it would make them second class citizens. And I disagree. A rose by another name…..Still a rose, still has thorns. Still smells as sweet/sour.

I guess…I’m more of the idea that if you can have something, but with some changes or limitations…it’s better than not having that thing at all.

Same with the journal- if we could’ve had it printed 2 weeks ago without the Virgin Mary poem, I would’ve said HELL YEAH go for it.

I guess I’m all about the compromise.

Which can be seen as a bad thing. I mean. Being in a compromised position is generally a negative connotative thing. So.

I just don’t like conflict. And perhaps that means that I settle for less than I may deserve. But. I dunno. I guess that’s just how I am?

Lah. I should go down for ALLIES, even tho it’s still 7 minutes til and we never start til 10 after. *rolls eyes*