August 3, 2003

Stranded

Everything I do, I feel like it is ending up to be hopeless. I’m trying my hardest but nothing seems to work. It’s a lost cause right now. I want to be with him so much, yet trying and trying is only letting myself get hurt in the end. What can I do? I can only do so much. I’m not much to handle as it is. I guess I should give up, it just sux because when you have feelings for someone, the last thing you want to to do is give up. It’s been almost a month of trying and I have gotten no where. What am I supposed to do, what am I supposed to say? I don’t have the answers anymore and I don’t like these mixed signals because it makes me even more helpless about this situation. I’m scared too, so much is going on in my life and the only thing I want is you. When I am with you, nothing else matters, I forget about my other problems and just focus being happy in your arms, it makes everything perfect. Those are the moments that make everything that has happen worth it in the end. I wish you felt the same for me though, but you can’t get everything you want sometimes. I just wish you really knew that I do still love you.. wow, it’s even hard to say that nowadays because it doesn’t matter to you, doesn’t change your mind about me. I just can’t keep on doing all of this and expect everything to be fine this way. I miss you and I want to be with you, but the thing is, do you want to be with me?

if he doesn’t, he’s crazy. xox :o)

*agrees with above noter* ryn: yup, I hate being so bored. Mostly because it makes me think too much and thinking too much gets me depressed :P..

ryn: awww, yeah…I don’t think I want to turn my brain off though because then I couldn’t think about my bf 😛 lol. And EH you have the same magic I do. You left me a note like 2 seconds after I left you one lol. Is Mare your full name or a nickname or a code name so nobody knows you on FOD?

lol, it’s raining where you are? It’s been raining here for so long and only yesterday and today it hasn’t rained…surprise. No summer weather THIS year 😛 Anyways…I’m feeling kinda lazy on FOD so I’m gonna go eat 🙂

ryn: sleep is most certainly the best escape from reality, but sometimes though reality can slip into your dreams. and then your peaceful sleep is ruined. that can be so awful. peace.

male perspective here.. it’s the same for both sides, and i thought women gave mixed signals.hope things work out better than mine do

I know how you feel.. and.. if he doesn*t want to be with you, it*s HIS loss! x0x;

haven’t noted you in a while 🙂 how are things with this mystery man? lol. I always say that boys are confusing. Women are complex too but in a sexy way 😀 lol.

hey, you left me a note recently and this entry of yours has hit me pretty hard because I have a feeling you know exactly what i’m talking about. but since we’re both feeling the same way i can’t give you any advice cuz i don’t know what to do either. since that last entry I made things have only gotten worse. *sigh* But thanks for dropping by.

Never loose hope. Faith is what gets you there.

How do you get your font that small?