Snowed In.

It’s been awhile since I last wrote in here. Again, writer’s block has occupied my mind. Just that, I always feel like I need something important to say, otherwise it’s just another boring entry. Not much has been happening, just alot of thinking and trying to provide some positive energy around me. I finished my christmas already. Thank god for online shopping. I couldn’t stand to be in those lines and the rush of shoppers. I failed my math class. What a success I seem to be. Math was never my favorite subject anyways. So, my parents weren’t too upset. They really have no right to be because I’m the one paying my tuition. I have become more responsible. They have to respect me for that. It’s been almost a week of being nineteen and nothing has changed. I guess the whole phase of celebrating birthdays have surpass me and now it’s just another day. I am glad to say that nothing bad did occur on my birthday. First time ever, so maybe my luck is changing. I haven’t seen the boyfriend in almost three weeks. Didn’t help getting sick right after each other. So that comes in reason why I haven’t and plus his parents have been nazis about him going out anywhere. So I’m hoping I see him today. We have been having some good conversation lately. Last time he was saying how it makes him sick to see me with someone else. I don’t know why, but that really got to me and made me just smile and feel all warm and fuzzy. Just that sometimes I wondered about how he felt but now I know. He’s scared of love and well, he did love me, but situations changed that. No cheating, just stupid mistakes have allowed his feelings to fade for me in that sense. I know I can’t be upset with him, because you can’t help your feelings, just sometimes I wish he did, like I do. I feel like a fool when I know I love him but he doesn’t. I guess it’s hard for him because it is his first real relationship. Just weird and I have come to accept it, just hard to get used to it all. I just have a feeling for him that I have never felt for someone else, not even with Mike, the guy I went out with for over two years. Oh well, just gotta take it one day at a time and be very grateful for everything.