Ramblings

It’s crazy to think that I have had this journal for so long. We can look back at memories, but when you read words, emotions come back to you like as if it’s the first time. Maybe I should keep updating this journal, although I know for sure no one reads this any longer. I realized that you have to pay to be on this site now, crazy how the times have been changing. Nothing is ever the same. Nothing is the same as a year ago. I guess they say change is good and I rather it be changing than the same, yet you miss the good stuff that resulted from one change, yet when it’s gone, what do you have left? Only a memory which is held in place until a new one is experiencing. I could write all this randomness or I don’t need to write a thing. I have always enjoy writing and I always hope to do it for the rest of my life. What am I supposed to do with my life, I question myself everyday. I have yearn to do so much, yet I’m just a big dreamer who does nothing anymore. My life is consisted of sleeping, working, and sitting online for countless hours hoping that something good would come along. It seems the only way to live life is through a relationship. I been there, done that and now I don’t want to do that at all. I don’t want to be in a relationship, what a wrong timing that was. Everybody just wants to be with their significant other, which leaves me hanging. I have become better friends with people online than in reality. Not sure if that’s sad or fine considering the way life is in today’s society. It is said that over 8 million people have found love on the internet. I believe I will probably be one of them with my always being on line. I been to all of those personal sites, always wondering if I may just meet “the one”. Although I couldn’t tell you it if I did or not. My emotions and feelings have become instinct it seems because I don’t want to do anything anymore. I haven’t gone out with people other than my family in almost two weeks. It seems like people don’t want anything to do with me. It doesn’t upset me as it used to. I just accept it and continued my quest for love online. Maybe one day I will come across my prince charming, but right now I’m going to search the net and listen to some good jams.. have a nice night!