What’s the point, anymore?

I’ve decided that I should suffer, so I unblocked everything.  It worked, and I’m suffering.  I think I deserve this.  I mean, if what goes around comes around, and I’m wrong, then the universe is doing it wrong.  More likely, it was me all along, and now, this is what I have to suffer.  Somehow, I was just wrong about everything.  I want to say I feel like dying, but I don’t want to deal with the worry it would produce.  I don’t even feel good about training for a 5K, anymore.  It’s already been done by him on multiple occasions.  It’s not my own…it just makes me look creepy, doing the same thing.  I sort of just wish he didn’t exist…  This will haunt me for the rest of my life, as it should.  It’s punishment for being a shit girlfriend.

Good thing I have a major exam, tomorrow.

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March 19, 2012

I honestly do not think you were a shit girlfriend. I think you gave all your could in a difficult period of your life and he wasn’t willing to meet you halfway. Some of the things he did were downright unacceptable, regardless of the challenges of a long-distance relationship. You are amazing in so many ways and deserve a man who accepts you as you are and wants to help you reach your…

March 19, 2012

…dreams. I know you’re hurting but try not to let that interfere with what you’re doing now. ::hugs:: I wish I could lend you Stanley for a puppy snuggle. He helps almost every situation 🙂

March 19, 2012

I don’t know the whole story (or any of it really), but I really hope you feel better.

March 20, 2012

*huge hugs* I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. 🙁

March 22, 2012

RYN: I’m honestly way too young to be worrying about such things, but the family I was born into kinda sucks so I’m anxious to start a new one.