Another day…

So N went to work today. We were supposed to go move furniture when he got off work but he was so tired this morning we postponed until tomorrow – hopefully we won’t get any rain.

So I figured out what has been wrong we me lately — started my period today lol. Freaking Aunt Flo….bringing all her hormones with her.

I was watching tv today and suddenly got baby fever…like got it bad enough I looked up the home sperm tests. N says he doesn’t think his sperm is any good so was thinking of testing it lol. Also was looking up how much adoption — like adopting an actually baby not a kid from the system – would cost…and confirmed that I cannot afford it.

So anyway…not sure why. I haven’t had the want for a BABY in a loooooooong time. I don’t think I would do good with a baby but there is still that little part of me that wants one. As much as N says he doesn’t want a baby, I don’t think he would be that against it.

On the other hand, I have been childless for 38 years….WTH do I want a baby for….in the years when I could finally start actually enjoying the world.

Bah…I know it will pass…I know I don’t really want a baby…it;s just that temporary baby fever but it is strong this time….much more than it has been in a very very long time.