And so it goes again…

Well went to the visitation Sunday. Saw the ex and his kids. I miss the kids. Hung out with his daughter most of the time — she is a freshman in college now – makes me feel old.

Anyway it was good. R, the ex’s best friend, asked if I saw the ex’s face when I walked in – I told him no. He said he had never seen him look at a girl like that. Oh well…he had his chance. Another friend of his, this girl J that I used to hear about all the time. Once she showed up, I became invisible to him lol. I went over to say something to him and he was like I am not ignoring you. I told him it was fine because it wasn’t his job to entertain me anymore. He said good point. we laughed..talked with them a few minutes then went back to hanging with some of the other people.

Got home…stayed up a little too late. Went to work Monday wore out. Got to leave work at 3 so I could drive R home. Drove him home, got back in town just in time to pick up the roommate from her out of town trip and then home. I was wound up so stayed up a little too late again.

Last night I started to go to bed early but kept talking to N so couldn’t go to sleep lol. Finally did. He had a bad night…had bad dreams all night. I could tell…I tried to get him to cuddle/wrap his arms around me so I could scratch on his arms (he loves when I run my nails over pretty much any part of his body lol) but couldn’t get him to do it because he was sleeping hard.

We had a little bit of a tiff this morning but it wasn’t really. We were just both grouchy. I am also on my period — oh yeah so the other thing that jacked up my weekend! – so apologized to him for being all hormonal. He said it was fine…some of it was on him. He gets bad around the holidays…misses his daughter. I got him to talk about it a little this morning but I always feel bad when I do because it gets him worked up and makes him think about it. He was telling me all the evil things his daughter’s mom did to him and to his daughter. Basically because they weren’t married, he has almost no rights. Lots of stories to go with that but not going to type them out.

I don’t know what to do. I feel so bad for him but I don’t know how to make it better. It hurts when he gets upset. He is like me…he hides it and ignores it most of the time but sometimes you just can’t.

Oh well…tomorrow is Thanksgiving with his parents. Peking Duck and Lobster Tails….no turkey for his family….so it should be good. He has fun when he is around them and he loves the fact that I get along with them and they seem to like me. His mom always hates his women because he picks the worst ones 😛