Your Candle

I just got through lighting your candle that was given to me by a friend from our pet site. It’s making one of your pictures look like the sunlight that was there when I first took the photo.

 The tears fall so much I can hardly see my screen. My first candle ceremony in the chat room was very touching. There are so many people that have lost their dear furry loved ones. They say it takes a long time for the pain to lessen.

My friend asked about you today. She just doesn’t get how strong a bond we had (I cried all the way home)  Saying how mom probably missed you when I was gone to work and all. I was saying how I wished I hadn’t had to go to work the Friday night before I had to say goodbye to you. You were all alone. I’m thankful I was able to check on you in the middle of the night. I was alarmed when I saw you get up. You weren’t walking right. I think I knew it was your time even before I went to work. I think I really knew the morning before when I took you to the vet. My heart was crushed when I took you Saturday morning and found out how really sick you were. I’m so thankful of our last night together. I stayed close by and petted you. Told you not to worry, that mama was right there for you. If I could have made time stand still, I would have. And at the vet, I didn’t want to let you go, even after you were gone. The pain I’m feeling today is like you just left me. I love you, sweet doggie. I’ll always keeps a special place in my heart for you. Please give me a sign that you’re ok and still with me somehow. I don’t think my heart will rest until I know.