It’s Not Christmas
My dearest Duke,
It’s Christmas morning and I’m missing you so much. I don’t feel whole without you. Words can’t describe how I feel. I hope you and all our RB special ones have a beautiful tree. Your present is part of my heart, which you took when you left me. One day, you can open it and we will be reunited. Until then, I can only hope to dream of you. I miss you so much, sweet doggie. *tears* 
It just hasn’t been Christmas without you.
Early this morning when I made my coffee, I’d like to think I got a sign from you. I keep the coffee in the freezer because I don’t make it a lot at home. I scooped it out and in the scoop was one of your hairs. I didn’t want to turn it lose. I’m so glad I got a sign from you. I still hope to see you one day. Others have told me they’ve seen their dog, if just for an instant. What I wouldn’t give to have that happen to me. Until we meet again some day, remember I’ll never forget you and my heart will never stop loving you.
I went to my brother’s girlfriend’s for dinner tonight. They were highschool sweethearts some twenty something years ago. My brother is getting divorced and they’ve reuinited. And yes, I’m glad my brother can finally be happy after all these years of misery but that, too, reminded me of something else that has been taken from me when I just found it earlier this year. When she said it had been one of the best Christmases for her, it hurt me so bad because it’s my worst. I thought my brother and I were both finally going to get to be happy. Fate decided different for me because of illness. So it’s just been a sad Christmas. First one without my dad, Duke and then my sweetheart. I’m just waiting for the year to be gone.
i’m sorry! it’s been such a short time since you’ve lost him. i’m sure it’s still a very sharp pain in your heart. i hope you get to see him if only for a second. i used to see zelda for a few months. now, i don’t anymore. i’m dreading jan.2nd for my husband. take care,
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My sweet girl! You know what I did once when I grieved over Holly (my Siberian Husky I had to have put to sleep?) I fantasized about my reunion with Holly! Yep…I walked myself through that moment. I DO believe you had a sign with that hair. I know that sounds silly..but what else? I am a believer and we believe that nothing is by chance…it’s all in God’s Plan. Now..no…he doesn’t plan heartache..but he sometimes ALLOWS things to happen and uses it for His purpose. Also, He has to allow death, etc…else..what PURPOSE would eternity have then? If it were PERFECT here…why would we ever yearn for eternity with HIM? Besides, He gave us choices here on earth…where we will be judged later. He is a loving God. He loves Duke. I KNOW that God has Duke now & that Duke is so comfortable AND most importantly that Duke will meet you when your time comes! PICTURE IT! Visualize Duke being happy & in spirit with you now. Talk to him NOW as if you BELIEVE he is there..becaus I do believe he is. It’s just a thought…it helped me. God would not give us these precious creatures nor would he have them go through so much for us…if he didn’t reward them. I have to believe that. I don’t think
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P.S. I LOVE the 2 pics of Duke on your main page. They are my favorites of him yet. WHY do I cry every time I read how much you love him? There has always been something about Duke and then “your & Duke’s” relationship that gets to me…don’t know why. Maybe years ago when I first read your OD..your relationship with Duke must have hit a nerve with me. I always worried about the day Duke would getold for you…and then here it is! But you know, life is a cycle. Just think how horrible it would be if Duke had belonged to someone instead of you! Knowing that life is a cycle, know that you will go full circle & be back with your bestest of friends…when your time in the cycle comes! I know in the end…it will all be OK….xoxoxo
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I saw your entry on the front page. I empathise with your grief on losing your friend Duke. I lost my beautiful, precious Bernese Mountain Dog to cancer a few months ago and the pain in my heart is still so sharp it takes my breath away. She was only 2 1/2 years old – we just didn’t have nearly enough time together, you know? We had only one Christmas with her, but this one has been just somethingto be gotten though because we all remember how much fun we had with our sweet dog last year. My heart goes out to you today.
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So sorry your Holidays have been sad. First Christmases without our beloved pets are always so hard. Take care of yourself! *hugs*
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