looking for a light

The darkness seemed to grow quickly as I sat in silence, the only sounds were those creeping through the cracks in the windows. The sound of the rain, heavy and full, hitting the pavement like it was trying to break it.  The road had ended and the roar of the engine had softened, I turned the key and opened the door. Stepping out into the rain my emotions matching it perfectly. Heavy and full was my heart. So many feelings and no way to get them out, I stood there in the rain wishing for it to rain harder and wash me away.  My heart breaking more with every drop.  My body growing heavier, or my strength disappearing as the night grew darker.

With nothing left I drop to my knees. I find myself on my knees more than on my feet lately. Pleading for a light. But not this time. I stay on the ground asking for more rain, more darkness, to cover the hurt I cant leave behind.

Slowly shadows parted as the rain began to soften.  Puddles lingering around my fallen frame, my hands clutching the ground unable to move for the fear of falling further. My face cast downward, eyes closed tightly.  The only sounds remaining came from within myself, the strength I had left was escaping in quiet sobs. 

Feeling broken on the ground it felt as though hours had passed before I stood again.  The night sky had become more clear, with the stars reflecting in the puddles still on the ground.  Water dripped from my finger tips as I stood there afraid to move. Afraid to breathe. Afraid to hope.  The rain had stopped, the haunting darkness had lifted, and I had found the strength to stand.  But would I have the strength to move on?  Would I be able to find a light in the darkness? A light I longed for, searched for, prayed for.