Screw you, snow

Dear Massive (and confused) Snow Storm,

Look. I know you’ve probably had a rough trip up the coast. I get it. You’re tired, disoriented, and not really sure what your goal is. Well, other than making a damn mess. One minute it’s raining, the next it’s snowing. People 10 minutes from us have a foot of snow and we barely have three inches. Seriously, though? Did you have to cause The Boy’s flight to be canceled from DC to Rochester? Was that totally necessary? Rochester has had record low snow fall this winter and you decide to drop over a foot on them tonight of all nights? No cool, man. Not cool.

He’s going to land in DC in an hour, walk up to one of those lovely walls of monitors, and see that his flight has been canceled. He’s not gonna be happy, Snow Storm. He’s gonna be pissed…and it’s all your fault.

Hopefully this all works out, Snow Storm. ‘Cause if I don’t see that boy this weekend I’m going to go on a rampage. And I’m going to throw shit. I’m supposed to get laid this weekend. If you cock block me, Snow Storm…we’re gonna have some serious issues.

I heard that you’re an oscillating snow storm. Guess what? When you oscillate your ass back here…we’re gonna have a talk.

Sincerely,

Duck