He’s leaving later today and I’m torn

He decided that he wanted to see me, even though it was around 12 am when he arrived, so we stopped in at Meijer. I watched him put stuff into the basket and while he was in one of the aisles, I walked around the store for a bit. In one aisle I stopped in the baby section. I kept looking at one of the cribs. It was blue (my favorite color) and it had buttons to where you could have it sing tunes to the baby. I looked at the car seats, then clothes and it was all just so cute!!
After a few minutes, we caught up with each other and he talked to one of the associates in the store. While looking at various things, I was listening to snippets of the conversation. I looked up when he called my name. I guess the associate thought we were married because he apologized.
I felt myself go red when he mentioned that we were just friends. Right then, I felt my heart stop for a second.

After that, I kind of spaced out. We walked up to the register and scanned the bags. After putting the bags inside the car, we left. I was quiet halfway home, just thinking about what was going on & trying not to cry. Finally, we got to the house and sat and talked. He told me about all his troubles that he was having and I listened to him.
I wasn’t sure whether it was right to give my opinion of the situation so I kept quiet. I let him get all his frustrations out and after he was finished, I told him about my past and what went on with me. I poured my heart out to him and told him all about the asshole boyfriends that I had had.
Afterwards, he wrapped his arms around me and held me. We sat and listened to music for a bit then he kissed me and gave me a hug and told me he’d call me
tomorrow after I got off work.
So yeah, he’s leaving tomorrow with the kids and it hurts like hell. I’ve gotten so accustomed to seeing his kids almost everyday. They’ve become a big part of my heart and it just hurts so bad. I know he’s coming back but still . . . .
I’ll write more later people. I’m so tired right now. Goodnight